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The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

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  • #46
    Originally posted by Kepler View Post
    Minnesota: We have prepared for generations for this.
    Washington and Oregon: “Just assume everyone is from California.”
    U-A-A!!!Go!Go!GreenandGold!
    Applejack Tells You How UAA Is Doing...
    I spell Failure with UAF
    Originally posted by UAFIceAngel
    But let's be real...There are 40 some other teams and only two alaskan teams...the day one of us wins something big will be the day I transfer to UAA
    Originally posted by Doyle Woody
    Best sign by a visting Seawolf fan Friday went to a young man who held up a piece of white poster board that read: "YOU CAN'T SPELL FAILURE WITHOUT UAF."

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    • #47
      Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

      Originally posted by Jimjamesak View Post
      Washington and Oregon: “Just assume everyone is from California.”
      Pretty fair assumption, at least as of 2002.

      California: “Just assume everyone is from Mexico and Guatemala.”
      Cornell University
      National Champion 1967, 1970
      ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
      Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

      Comment

      • #48
        Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

        Originally posted by Kepler View Post
        Minnesota: We have prepared for generations for this.
        Pretty much. We say our pleasantries, get our business done, and move on. This semi-shutdown rule that is in place...all that means is less talk and we can't sit down in a restaurant.
        Hi, here to pick up.
        Here you go.
        Thanks, and have a good day.
        You, too.

        That's it. That is quite possibly the perfect midwestern business transaction.
        Never really developed a taste for tequila. Kind of hard to understand how you make a drink out of something that sharp, inhospitable. Now, bourbon is easy to understand.
        Tastes like a warm summer day. -Raylan Givens

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        • #49
          Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

          Originally posted by The Rube View Post
          Pretty much. We say our pleasantries, get our business done, and move on. This semi-shutdown rule that is in place...all that means is less talk and we can't sit down in a restaurant.
          Hi, here to pick up.
          Here you go.
          Thanks, and have a good day.
          You, too.

          That's it. That is quite possibly the perfect midwestern business transaction.
          My experience of Midwestern business transactions is very different. It includes a ten minute conversation about braces, little league, and kidney stones, and relies on everybody in the store having somehow gone to the same high school. While everybody else waits patiently to ring up their Slim Jims.

          Projecting from this I figure that every 40-year old in every flyover county slept with every 40-year old of their target sex 23 years ago, and everybody knows it. That must make for some really strange church picnics.
          Last edited by Kepler; 03-25-2020, 12:24 AM.
          Cornell University
          National Champion 1967, 1970
          ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
          Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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          • #50
            Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

            It takes ten minutes just for people to say goodbye.

            Comment

            • #51
              Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

              Originally posted by Kepler View Post
              Projecting from this I figure that every 40-year old in every flyover county slept with every 40-year old of their target sex 23 years ago, and everybody knows it. That must make for some really strange church picnics.
              I assume it makes guessing who your second and third spouses will be easier.

              Comment

              • #52
                Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post
                I assume it makes guessing who your second and third spouses will be easier.
                Just as guessing who your second and third children’s father is?
                a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike, daddy.

                Comment

                • #53
                  Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                  Originally posted by mookie1995 View Post
                  Just as guessing who your second and third children’s father is?
                  It's the Midwest, so that only takes us up to age 19.
                  Cornell University
                  National Champion 1967, 1970
                  ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                  Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                  Comment

                  • #54
                    Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                    New York. Why I left.

                    Extra points for the perfect shirt.
                    Cornell University
                    National Champion 1967, 1970
                    ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                    Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                    Comment

                    • #55
                      Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                      Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the Tiger King woman who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.
                      That community is already in the process of dissolution where each man begins to eye his neighbor as a possible enemy, where non-conformity with the accepted creed, political as well as religious, is a mark of disaffection; where denunciation, without specification or backing, takes the place of evidence; where orthodoxy chokes freedom of dissent; where faith in the eventual supremacy of reason has become so timid that we dare not enter our convictions in the open lists, to win or lose.

                      Comment

                      • #56
                        Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                        Originally posted by SJHovey View Post
                        Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the Tiger King woman who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.
                        LOL. This is great.
                        Cornell University
                        National Champion 1967, 1970
                        ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                        Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                        Comment

                        • #57
                          Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                          Originally posted by SJHovey View Post
                          Anybody else notice that the County Sheriff in Florida who arrested the pastor for holding the church service in defiance of the social distancing orders is the same sheriff looking for tips on the THAT ***** CAROL BASKIN!!! who may have fed her first husband to her tigers? Hillsborough County (which includes Tampa) sounds like it's got some things going on. We get Tom and Giselle down there and the party will be on.
                          Fixed that for you...in the name of accuracy
                          "It's as if the Drumpf Administration is made up of the worst and unfunny parts of the Cleveland Browns, Washington Generals, and the alien Mon-Stars from Space Jam."
                          -aparch

                          "Scenes in "Empire Strikes Back" that take place on the tundra planet Hoth were shot on the present-day site of Ralph Engelstad Arena."
                          -INCH

                          Of course I'm a fan of the Vikings. A sick and demented Masochist of a fan, but a fan none the less.
                          -ScoobyDoo 12/17/2007

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                          • #58
                            Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                            Originally posted by Handyman View Post
                            Fixed that for you...in the name of accuracy
                            Your edit reminded me of the Bill Brasky bits from SNL.

                            Comment

                            • #59
                              Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                              "It's as if the Drumpf Administration is made up of the worst and unfunny parts of the Cleveland Browns, Washington Generals, and the alien Mon-Stars from Space Jam."
                              -aparch

                              "Scenes in "Empire Strikes Back" that take place on the tundra planet Hoth were shot on the present-day site of Ralph Engelstad Arena."
                              -INCH

                              Of course I'm a fan of the Vikings. A sick and demented Masochist of a fan, but a fan none the less.
                              -ScoobyDoo 12/17/2007

                              Comment

                              • #60
                                Re: The States: Where We Wish Texas Would Secede Already

                                God imagine voting for a party that has to SAY that. Christ

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