Tokyo COVympics: July 23 to August 8

[Kepler]

https://www.theonion.com/coronavirus...top-1846974422

[French Rage]

The US team did not qualify for 3x3 basketball, because apparently that's a thing now?

[Kepler]

The US team did not qualify for 3x3 basketball, because apparently that's a thing now?

It's funny because I'm sure it only existed so the networks could have more NBA stars.

We lost to Holland, the tallest country on Earth. So basically we lost because we eat sh-tty processed food.

[Scarlet]

I thought I saw that the women qualified for 3x3?

[Slap Shot]

Is this a summer sport? If so it's one Dutch team I'll be watching.

[MissThundercat]

Is this a summer sport? If so it's one Dutch team I'll be watching.

I'm even gayer now.

[Kepler]

Those chicks look about 11.

[unofan]

Is this a summer sport? If so it's one Dutch team I'll be watching.

Too bad if you've ever watched field hockey, it's probably one of the dumbest sports ever. Even more than soccer, the goal isn't really to score in the run of play but to get into the penalty area and then draw a foul. I'm also convinced that there's a rule where if the whistle hasn't blown in 30 seconds, the ref is required to blow it just because.

[Slap Shot]

Too bad if you've ever watched field hockey, it's probably one of the dumbest sports ever. Even more than soccer, the goal isn't really to score in the run of play but to get into the penalty area and then draw a foul. I'm also convinced that there's a rule where if the whistle hasn't blown in 30 seconds, the ref is required to blow it just because.

Did you say something about rules and run of play?

cc: Kep - they're plenty legal!

[Kepler]

Too bad if you've ever watched field hockey, it's probably one of the dumbest sports ever. Even more than soccer, the goal isn't really to score in the run of play but to get into the penalty area and then draw a foul. I'm also convinced that there's a rule where if the whistle hasn't blown in 30 seconds, the ref is required to blow it just because.

Field hockey is definitely a sport that is screwed up because of terrible rules* and even worse equipment.

You could do a lot with that sport and make it really cool, with just a few changes.

But as it stands it's the only team sport for straight women, so leave it alone.


* The worst case: basketball. Basketball needs a goalie, a single point for all baskets, foul outs without shooting, two 10-minute halves, and zero timeouts. If basketball games came down to say 6-5 they would be thrilling.

[French Rage]

* The worst case: basketball. Basketball needs a goalie, foul outs without shooting, and zero timeouts.

Can the goalie goaltend?

[Kepler]

Can the goalie goaltend?

That's his job. He can do anything.

I want single digit scoring.

[French Rage]

That's his job. He can do anything.

I want single digit scoring.

I'll give you gaoltending but then we need to make it multiple baskets that they would need to defend and also 4/5/6/etc point lines too.

[The Sicatoka]

... the goal isn't really to score in the run of play but to get into the penalty area and then draw a foul. I'm also convinced that there's a rule where if the whistle hasn't blown in 30 seconds, the ref is required to blow it just because.

Congratulations upon successful completion of your field hockey on-field officials exam.

Your whistles* and officials on-field uniform will be delivered shortly to the address you have on file with your application.

The IOC will be contacting you about your officiating schedule at the Olympics via separate correspondence.

Thank you, and again, congratulations.


*Multiple, as you'll be going through at least one per match.

[The Sicatoka]

Basketball needs ... zero timeouts.

I'd give them one per game.