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What The Fark 6: FARK OFF!

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  • Kepler
    replied
    Cons think about pedophilia a lot, I'm just sayin'.

    Leave a comment:


  • aparch
    replied
    My Pillow guy seems to have found his defense for the Dominion lawsuit... He's going to p*ss away all his fortune fighting a pointless lawsuit so Dominion can't take any money from him first.

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  • Kepler
    replied
    We appear to be entering the Dada phase.

    Last edited by Kepler; 01-22-2021, 07:27 PM.

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  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
    100 boxes of spaghetti and 96 cans of sauce
    She's going to eat 4 meals dry?

    Leave a comment:


  • MissThundercat
    replied
    I currently work the Grandville Meijer online pickup. Today, we encountered a customer who wanted 100 boxes of spaghetti and 96 cans of sauce.

    My What The F is not so much that she ordered it, but why here, instead of Costco or Sam's Club.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
    Um.

    So, basically, it's Satyricon except from the inside, and parody, or maybe not.

    Um.

    Listen. As a fan of High Weirdness, I am receptive. And afterwards,



    Leave a comment:


  • dxmnkd316
    replied
    https://twitter.com/mollyjongfast/st...056270337?s=21

    what in the actual fuck

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  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by BassAle View Post

    They have them on display. I assume if you purchase one they have them in a stockroom out back.
    One pallet of those and you could buy a house.

    Leave a comment:


  • BassAle
    replied
    Originally posted by Kepler View Post

    Do they actually physically stock those models at the brick and mortar?

    I have never been tempted to shoplift. But.
    They have them on display. I assume if you purchase one they have them in a stockroom out back.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by BassAle View Post

    I've shopped at the Willams-Sonoma in Portland, ME once in a while, but I always laugh that there are people dumb enough to pay $12,000 for a coffee maker.
    Please tell me you have had the peppermint bark? Do they have samples?

    They physically stock those LOLrich models at the brick and mortar?

    I have never been tempted to shoplift. But.

    Leave a comment:


  • BassAle
    replied
    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
    There is a Williams-Sonoma brick and mortar here in Grand Rapids. You think the catalog is pretentious? It's worse in person.
    I've shopped at the Willams-Sonoma in Portland, ME once in a while, but I always laugh that there are people dumb enough to pay $12,000 for a coffee maker.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
    I just checked my daughter's name, and it's nowhere to be seen. Right out of the gate she won't be popular. Mission accomplished!
    You've avoided the sorority girl problem, but now you must work hard to make her a surly and neurotic intellectual.

    I suggest books. Nothing alienates the bovine mass of normal kids more than intelligence and knowledge.

    If she doesn't have a tattoo by 14 you'll know you raised a worthwhile rebel.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
    That's when I realized there was more than one way to spell the name. But the other ways are all wrong.
    Our daughter's name tells you she was born in the early 90s. It is misspelled.

    If I need to explain, her biological father picked the name based on relatives. Dr. Mrs. was under when he gave the name to the hospital and he misspelled it because he is an idiot. She does not have good taste in men (obviously). Neither he nor I are even the worst husband.

    Leave a comment:


  • St. Clown
    replied
    Originally posted by Kepler View Post
    People are lazy and stupid, 2020 Edition.

    Kids who will be beaten, deservedly, strictly based on their trendy Disney names:

    Boys 2, 5, 7 (as in "My boy's gonna grow up and join Declan"), 9 (Double Jesus), 13, 15.
    Girls 3, 7, 8 (Oh for fork's sake), 9, 12, 16 (My god people are lazy and stupid).
    I just checked my daughter's name, and it's nowhere to be seen. Right out of the gate she won't be popular. Mission accomplished!

    I ran the search, she's well out of the running for any of the popular names. At the same time, when people ask and we tell them her name, every so often we hear, "Oh, such a beautiful name, I have a [fill in relation here] named [name here]! How do you spell it?" That's when I realized there was more than one way to spell the name. But the other ways are all wrong.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by French Rage View Post
    I'll see both of those and raise you a Restoration Hardware.
    A Mets sponsor.

    I had no idea they were che che; never seen one. There is one in Tysons Corner and another in Scottsdale so that checks.

    Leave a comment:

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