Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

[jericho]

What do you call a goose family in Portugal?

Portugeese.

[MissThundercat]

Scientists got bored with watching the world turn, so they called it a day.

[LynahFan]

My dad (notorious punster) used this one on us when we were around 5-7 years old:

(dad throws biodegradable scrap food into the bushes)

kids: Don’t litter!
dad: Don’t worry, a henway will get it.
kids: What’s a henway?
dad: About 3-4 pounds.

Memory has stuck with me for ~45 years.

[lostoldtime35]

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[MissThundercat]

I have a friend torn between two lovers. One makes the best pancakes, the other writes incredible poetry. So does she get married for batter or for verse?

[jericho]

Looking back yesterday, hindsight is 2020

[MissThundercat]

Darth Vader: I know what you are getting for Christmas!
Luke: How is that even possible!
Darth Vader: I have felt your presents!
Luke: That is such a lame dad joke.
Darth Vader: Funny you should mention that...

[MissThundercat]

Hey jericho, I heard you caught your son chewing on electrical cords. Heard you grounded him. Is he doing better currently? Is he conducting himself properly now?

[Kepler]

Daughter: "If baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?"

Dad: "It's like rock, paper, scissors. Baby oil beats condom; condom beats baby; baby beats baby oil."

Daughter: "Rock also beats baby."

[The Sicatoka]

The bartender looks at him and says, "We don't server time travelers here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Why did the robber take a bath?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

[French Rage]

get along nicely with othersin our every day lifestyles, we need to come into contact with human beings in every walk of lifestyles.therefore,it's miles very vital for us to recognise a way to get in conjunction with other human beings. to get well in conjunction with others and win theirfriendships, we need to observe strictly the subsequent words.initially, we need to be honest with others and shouhcontinually say what we imply. lies will in reality make humans stay some distance far from us in the long run. after all,honesty is the satisfactorycoverage. second, we ought to be humble sufficient. if we're proud in public, we will hardly win different. SEO

I don't get it.

[The Sicatoka]

Pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel sticking out from under his hat.

Bartender: "What's with the paper towel"?

"Aaargh, ... I have a Bounty on me head!"

[MissThundercat]

I saw an old car radio for sale for $1 with a note that said "volume broken."

I thought "I can't turn that down."

[Jimjamesak]

What do you get when you put ducks in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.