Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

[wolverineTrumpet]

Presumably, since You Are Not The Father.

Accurate. I'm the parent that had her parasite surgically removed.
For some reason, people don't like when I refer to the c-section birth of my daughter that way.

[SonofSouthie]

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

[Kepler]

If I tell a "dad joke" is it a faux Pa?

Presumably, since You Are Not The Father.

[wolverineTrumpet]

If I tell a "dad joke" is it a faux Pa?

[Kepler]

I got a papercut attempting suicide.

It's a start.

[MissThundercat]

I left my job at a shoe disposal plant. It was sole destroying.

I had to quit my job crushing pop cans. It was soda pressing.

[wolverineTrumpet]

I left my job at a shoe disposal plant. It was sole destroying.

[MissThundercat]

I took up fencing; the neighbors demanded I put it back.

[St. Clown]

Never start a fight with a dinosaur. You’ll get jurasskicked.

[St. Clown]

I want to open up a store that sells only female dogs and gardening equipment. I could call it Bi+ches & Hoes.

[burd]

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.

Cop: You ARE the lawyer.

Lawyer: So where's my present?

[MissThundercat]

I grew up in Southie on O Street. Had to walk a block to P.

You can't hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom because the P is silent.

[SonofSouthie]

I grew up in Southie on O Street. Had to walk a block to P.

[St. Clown]

man: “Help! Do we have a doctor here?”
woman: “I’m a doctor.”
man: ”What’s your specialty?”
woman: ”Mathematics.”
man: ”My friend’s dying!”
woman: ”Minus one.”

[MissThundercat]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.