Tweet
Dad walked in on Mom ****ing her personal trainer.
Dad said, "this isn't working out."
Dad said, "this isn't working out."
-
Cornell University
National Champion 1967, 1970
ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020 -
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?Comment
-
The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved. <-- Virtue signaling.
North Dakota Hockey:
Comment
-
How does one create a secret society?
(10 minutes later)
We're off to a bad start already.Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
Patreon for exclusive writing content
Adventures With Amber MarieComment
-
A man is driving down the highway when he witnesses a truck hauling Worcestershire sauce tip over and spill its boxes and the bottles shattered everywhere. The man pull over to the side of the road to call 911. When the operator answere the man says that he witnessed a big truck overturn. The operator then asked for details and the manager replies, “Okay, this is where it gets complicated.”"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir
"Good news! We have a delivery." Professor FarnsworthComment
-
I was told to open a zoo, you need a couple of pandas, three grizzlies, and a koala.
That's the bear minimum.Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
Patreon for exclusive writing content
Adventures With Amber MarieComment
-
A friend of mine had a cross-eyed girlfriend.
But they broke up; they just couldn't see eye to eye.
It's probably for the better: He's pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side.The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved. <-- Virtue signaling.
North Dakota Hockey: Comment
-
A dyslexic man walks into a bra…Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003
WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.Comment
-
Why do people spend upwards of $300 on a colon cleanse when Taco Bell will do it for less than $10?Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
Patreon for exclusive writing content
Adventures With Amber MarieComment
-
There is a lot of truth in that."The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir
"Good news! We have a delivery." Professor FarnsworthComment
-
-
Way funnier than the version I heard: why do people spend upwards of $300 on a colon cleanse when it is medically unnecessary?Originally posted by MissThundercat View PostIf you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?Comment
-
Sex in an elevator is fun on so many levels.Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
Patreon for exclusive writing content
Adventures With Amber MarieComment
-
There are two wolves inside inside you. The furry convention is going well.Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
"One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
Patreon for exclusive writing content
Adventures With Amber MarieComment
-
How come you didn't report your credit card stolen?
Because the thief spends less than my wife does.A bad cause requires many words.Comment
Comment