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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

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  • #61
    Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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    • #62
      Heard this one last night:
      Irish guy walking through the neighborhood looking for odd jobs. Knocks on a door, a woman answers, and he asks if she might have something to do.
      She thinks about it a says you can paint the porch.
      He comes back a coupla hours and says finished.
      BTW it's not a porch it's a BMW.
      A bad cause requires many words.

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      • #63
        Stop making toothpaste jokes, Oral B mad!
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
        Patreon for exclusive writing content
        Adventures With Amber Marie

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        • #64
          I enjoy this thread.

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          • #65
            How is the Eiffel Tower like a tick?

            Spoiler:

            They're Paris-ites.
            Cornell University
            National Champion 1967, 1970
            ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
            Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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            • #66
              There are two wolves inside of you. I have no idea how you're still alive.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

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              • #67
                I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey...but then I turned myself around
                Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                Arenas visited:
                7 B1G
                7 CCHA (all except St Thomas)
                6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU)
                5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont)
                5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson)
                2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT)
                2 Alaskan

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                • #68
                  What did the police at the oscars find when they dusted Chris Rock's face?

                  Fresh Prints…
                  "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                  "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                  "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
                    What did the police at the oscars find when they dusted Chris Rock's face?

                    Fresh Prints…
                    Better joke than Rock told.
                    Cornell University
                    National Champion 1967, 1970
                    ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                    Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                    • #70
                      Why did Will Smith slap Chris Rock and not punch him?

                      Because paper beats rock.
                      “Demolish the bridges behind you… then there is no choice but to build again.”

                      Live Radio from 100.3

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                      • #71
                        We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. Students need to divide and conquer, then subtract them one by one.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          What do you call a Vietnamese person who’s bugging you?

                          hanoing.
                          Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

                          WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

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                          • #73
                            If I ever hear something about $15,000 worth of textbooks stolen from a university bookstore:

                            "Well, I hope they got both of those books back!"
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              I'm going to donate my body to science and science will be like "wow, I don't want that."
                              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                              Patreon for exclusive writing content
                              Adventures With Amber Marie

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                The hardest thing about riding a bicycle?

                                The pavement.
                                A bad cause requires many words.

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