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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

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  • Walked in on my partner having sex with her personal trainer.

    Me: Okay, this isn't working out.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
    Patreon for exclusive writing content
    Adventures With Amber Marie

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    • How do you get an Irishman up on the roof?

      Tell him drinks are on the house.
      A bad cause requires many words.

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      • The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water.

        Therefore the Earth is flat.
        "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

        "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

        "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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        • I lost my glasses the other day. Guess who I bumped into?

          Everyone.
          CCT '77 & '78
          4 kids
          5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
          1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

          ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
          - Benjamin Franklin

          Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

          I want to live forever. So far, so good.

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          • My wife sent me a sweet text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

            I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
            "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

            "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

            "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

            Comment


            • What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

              Elephino.
              Last edited by SonofSouthie; 06-09-2024, 08:32 PM.
              A bad cause requires many words.

              Comment


              • Dry erase boards are remarkable inventions.
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

                Comment

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