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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

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  • Jack Benny (somebody's dad?): "I'm very honest. If another comedian has a bad show, I'm the first to admit it."

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    • I'm not a former gifted kid; I'm still gifted! Put me in 4th grade again and I'll annihilate them all like last time!
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

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      • Good job looking at your phone, keep it up!
        "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

        "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

        "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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        • Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
          Good job looking at your phone, keep it up!
          Que?
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

          Comment


          • I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills.

            Those were Goodyears.
            "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

            "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

            "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

            Comment


            • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post

              Que?
              It was a bad joke, and I messed up the wording.
              "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

              "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

              "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

              Comment


              • I have a pet manatee named Hugh. I built him a house. It's a habitat for Hugh Manatee
                Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                Arenas visited:
                7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

                Comment


                • How did Jesus get into such great shape?

                  CrossFit
                  "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                  "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                  "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

                  Comment


                  • Why have a wedding ring when you can have onion rings instead?
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
                      How did Jesus get into such great shape?

                      CrossFit
                      Wow. Lmao

                      Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

                      WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

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                      • Them: do you meditate?

                        Me: kinda.

                        (Cut to me in the car, screaming "BABY, YOU'RE A FIREWORK, COME ON LET YOUR COLORS BURST!")
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

                        Comment


                        • What do you call a Mitsubishi sports car in a bad accident?

                          a totaled Eclipse.
                          Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

                          WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

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                          • Knock knock.

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                            • Originally posted by Slap Shot View Post
                              Knock knock.
                              who's there?
                              Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                              wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                              Arenas visited:
                              7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

                              Comment


                              • Where do homeless accountants live?
                                Tax shelters
                                Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                                wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                                Arenas visited:
                                7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

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