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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

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  • Geology rocks but geography is where it's at.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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    • Child: Jim Morrison was overrated!
      Father: What did I tell you about slamming the doors?
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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      • NASA launched a mission to say "we're sorry" to the aliens.

        Last I heard, they were calling it Apollo G.
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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        • I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
          Let's Go Broncos!

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          • Boss wanted me to tell him a joke. I showed him my payslip.
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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            • What did one butt cheek say to the other?

              Together we can stop this sh*t.
              A bad cause requires many words.

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              • Parents, be on the lookout.
                Some very bad people are hiding episodes of Caillou in your kid's Halloween candy!
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                • The Ur dad joke.
                  Cornell University
                  National Champion 1967, 1970
                  ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                  Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                  • Is there a point where Newfoundland just becomes "Land?"
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                    • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                      Is there a point where Newfoundland just becomes "Land?"
                      This road runs near my house. It was built in 1984. Any day now.

                      Cornell University
                      National Champion 1967, 1970
                      ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                      Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                      • A man walks into a bar and sits down by the bartender. He pulls a tiny little man out of one pocket, and a tiny little piano out of the other and puts them on the bar where the little man starts playing Mozart. The bartender says, “Sorry to bother you, but where did you find a tiny little man that plays piano like that?” The man says, “I stumbled upon a genie on my way here. If you go out front he might still be there”. The bartender excitedly runs out, and a few minutes later the door opens and hundreds and hundreds of ducks start walking in. The bartender follows and yells, “Why didn’t you tell me the genie was deaf? I asked for a million bucks!” The man says, “Did you really think I asked for an 11-inch pianist?”

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                        • I've opened three birthday cards and scored $150. I love being a mail carrier.
                          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                          • I childproofed the house and the kids still got in.
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                            Adventures With Amber Marie

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                            • Why did the chicken cross the park?

                              To get to the other slide.
                              "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                              "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                              "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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                              • While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and sheep and began a conversation. Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

                                Indian: "Dog no talk."

                                Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

                                Dog: "Doin' alright."

                                Indian: Look of shock.

                                Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

                                Dog: "Yep"

                                Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

                                Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

                                Indian: Look of total disbelief.

                                Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

                                Indian: "Horse no talk."

                                Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

                                Horse: "Cool."

                                Indian: Extreme look of shock.

                                Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian

                                Horse: "Yep"

                                Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

                                Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."

                                Indian: Total look of utter amazement.

                                Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

                                Indian: "Sheep liar."
                                Cornell University
                                National Champion 1967, 1970
                                ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                                Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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