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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

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  • Someone has been stealing the wheels off cop cars.

    Police have been working tirelessly to catch them.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
    Patreon for exclusive writing content
    Adventures With Amber Marie

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    • Punqueen, MT.

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      • Her: I have a daddy kink.

        Me: *mows lawn at 7 AM in socks and sandals*
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
        Patreon for exclusive writing content
        Adventures With Amber Marie

        Comment


        • I completely misunderstood Pride month. Who wants to buy 15 lions?
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

          Comment


          • Will Ferrell and Marky Mark reading dad jokes. My apologies if this is a repost.

            https://youtu.be/SAgYiERRDPY
            "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

            "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

            "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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            • Always give 100%, unless you're giving blood
              Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
              wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



              Arenas visited:
              7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

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              • Did you know Mortal Kombat is a prayer in Scandinavia?

                It's a Finnish Hymn
                Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                Arenas visited:
                7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

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                • My parents, 1999: Be careful. Not everything on the internet is true.

                  My parents, 2023: If I copy and paste a bunch of legal sounding nonsense, Facebook won't be able to sell my private data!
                  Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                  "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                  Patreon for exclusive writing content
                  Adventures With Amber Marie

                  Comment


                  • Grandmother: All of our family history is stored in this book.

                    Me: That's the DSM-V, Grandma!
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

                    Comment


                    • *check engine light comes on*

                      Okay.

                      *opens hood*

                      Yep, still there.
                      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                      Patreon for exclusive writing content
                      Adventures With Amber Marie

                      Comment


                      • I have several dad jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.
                        "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                        "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                        "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

                        Comment


                        • There’s a very fine line between a numerator and a denominator, but only a fraction will understand.
                          "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                          "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                          "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

                          Comment


                          • Where do bad rainbows go?


                            Prism
                            It's a light sentence
                            Gives them time to reflect
                            Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                            wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                            Arenas visited:
                            7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by wolverineTrumpet View Post
                              Where do bad rainbows go?


                              Prism
                              It's a light sentence
                              Gives them time to reflect
                              Jesus f-ck, this is peak dad joke.
                              Cornell University
                              National Champion 1967, 1970
                              ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                              Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by wolverineTrumpet View Post
                                Where do bad rainbows go?


                                Prism
                                It's a light sentence
                                Gives them time to reflect
                                Not foolproof, but works for a large spectrum.
                                If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?

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