Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How do farmers party?

    They turnip the beets.
    "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

    "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

    "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

    Comment


    • I asked my partner if she wanted to have sex on the hood of my Honda Civic.
      She declined, saying it had to be on her own Accord.
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

      Comment


      • What happens if your team loses on St. Patrick's Day?
        It's game clover.
        Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
        wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



        Arenas visited:
        7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

        Comment


        • 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

          Comment


          • Why do Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs?

            Because they’re Inca-hoots.
            "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

            "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

            "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

            Comment


            • O U T.

              Sorry I spaced out.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

              Comment


              • “I won’t back down.” - Tom Petty

                ”I May readjust my stance if you present a reasonable argument.” - Tom Reasonable
                "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

                Comment


                • How do you make a pool table laugh?

                  Stick your hand in it's pocket and tickle the balls.
                  A bad cause requires many words.

                  Comment


                  • I don't work on Fridays, I make appearances
                    Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                    wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                    Arenas visited:
                    7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

                    Comment


                    • Why did the cows go to the marijuana field?

                      It was the pot calling the cattle back
                      Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
                      wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



                      Arenas visited:
                      7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

                      Comment


                      • Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding up in trees?
                        - They’re really good at it.


                        Why do elephants paint their balls red?
                        - So they can hide in cherry trees.

                        What’s the loudest noise in the forest?
                        - Giraffes eating cherries.
                        If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?

                        Comment


                        • Cornell University
                          National Champion 1967, 1970
                          ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                          Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                          Comment


                          • A man and a woman are on a first date, and the man asks his date, “You’re given a choice, you’re offered $50,000 but the person you hate most in life is given $100,000, would you take the offer?”

                            The woman replies, “Yes! Why wouldn’t I want $150,000?”
                            "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                            "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                            "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
                              A man and a woman are on a first date, and the man asks his date, “You’re given a choice, you’re offered $50,000 but the person you hate most in life is given $100,000, would you take the offer?”

                              The woman replies, “Yes! Why wouldn’t I want $150,000?”
                              This is kinda the opposite of a Dad joke.
                              Cornell University
                              National Champion 1967, 1970
                              ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                              Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                              Comment


                              • When it comes to puns about eyes, the cornea the better.
                                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                                Adventures With Amber Marie

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X