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Huh 1: We could play at Questions

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  • MissThundercat
    replied
    I have faux suede boots and they have white water marks from winter. How do I clean those up?

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  • MissThundercat
    replied
    Over the last 5 months, I got so caught up in saving the world that I forgot to save myself. What do you do when you feel yourself falling into that trap?

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  • LynahFan
    replied
    Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post

    Your being behind reflects on their poor leadership.
    Also, they want something to be able to talk about with THEIR management. "I sat MissT down and discussed it, so I proactively did my job!"

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  • FadeToBlack&Gold
    replied
    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
    Why do retail managers know your department is behind, then stop you dead in your tracks for 15 minutes to lecture you about being behind?
    Your being behind reflects on their poor leadership.

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  • MissThundercat
    replied
    Why do retail managers know your department is behind, then stop you dead in your tracks for 15 minutes to lecture you about being behind?

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  • dxmnkd316
    replied
    Yeah, totally agree with all of what’s been posted. My wife works every third weekend. So I usually take that time for just me and catch up on shows she would hate or do things around the house in “my areas”.

    We use the rest of our time doing things together. But that recharge is nice. And I still remember during one of those weekends by myself thinking, this fucking sucks. That will also happen. I was looking forward to just sitting down and playing a video game for a couple hours. About 30 mins in I had to put it down.

    Last weekend she worked and the Goofs were playing. It sucked to not watch the games with her.

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  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
    Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

    What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?
    That means you're getting somewhere real, so that's good. People don't allow themselves to be touched like that in superficial relationships.

    You have to know that real relationships, ones that will last a lifetime, are hell and they never stop being hell. You get better at communicating and you get better at reading your partner, and the two of you realize more and more as time passes that the other is there for them and not intentionally The Greatest Monster in History, but paradoxically that pulls you closer and more open and that makes points of discord even more unpleasant.

    A true pairing is painful -- you are pulling each other into your own skin. That hurts and it never stops hurting. But you pass a point of no return where you want to be a pair, not just a self.

    And I want him to be
    More interested in me
    Than he is in himself

    And more interested in us
    Than in me.

    As for what you do, you ride it out, be kind, be understanding, don't hold grudges, forgive, talk, say what you feel, listen.

    Coldness is the enemy. Even as you give space be loving.

    Note: this is so hard we all spend our lives working on it, so don't beat yourselves up or think something is wrong if you keep bumping into tensions. You will. Forever. But you'll also face the world together, so it's worth it.

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  • FadeToBlack&Gold
    replied
    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
    Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

    What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?
    It's normal and healthy for people in a relationship to want some time alone or to go out separately with their own friends. COVID has made it impossible for my girlfriend, who is extroverted, to have "girls only" nights out with her pals. That would ordinarily be my big chance for alone time, so instead we've just had an occasional night apart when my introverted self needs a recharge. Or sometimes one of us will go hang out in the basement for a couple of hours.

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  • MissThundercat
    replied
    Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

    What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by Deutsche Gopher Fan View Post

    I’m putting my money on your wife offing you
    You and me both.

    I have a bet on it in Vegas in her name so she can't collect.

    Leave a comment:


  • Deutsche Gopher Fan
    replied
    Originally posted by Kepler View Post

    One dollar a month.

    I wouldn't use it for anything real. When I murder my wife I will be using a personal lawyer.
    I’m putting my money on your wife offing you

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  • Kepler
    replied
    Originally posted by SJHovey View Post
    As for group legal insurance, again it's in the details. Exactly what do you get for your coverage? Most of the plans I've seen basically give the participant maybe a handful of consultations (calls, usually) each year of maybe a half hour in length each. It might also give you the ability to have them review a contract, like a lease or a purchase agreement for a home, or something like that. There may also be some very basic estate planning coverage. Before I'd sign up for that, I'd review carefully exactly what benefits are provided, ask yourself how likely it is you'll need those services, and weigh that against the cost.

    If you think about it, when will you need a lawyer? If you're in a car accident and someone sues you, your car insurance will provide the lawyer. If you're in a car accident and you need to sue someone else, there will be a line of lawyers waiting to take your case on a contingency fee basis, which won't require you to pay anything.

    Most homeowners or renters insurance policies also provide a level of liability insurance, not only on your property, but even outside your property for certain events (not car accidents obviously).

    If you commit a crime, your defense costs will be large, so don't commit a crime. If you get a divorce you can spend endless sums of money fighting with your ex, but honestly the size of that expense will depend largely on how much you want to fight.

    There are certainly lots of situations where you could need a lawyer, but I'm not sure most of them will rise to the expense level where you need to purchase insurance to cover the cost. But again, I'd certainly want to review the plan summary on any of these before making a decision.
    One dollar a month.

    I wouldn't use it for anything real. When I murder my wife I will be using a personal lawyer.

    Leave a comment:


  • SJHovey
    replied
    Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
    Benefits enrollment time.

    I know I always blow past these things because they’re usually scams. But I like to reconfirm my understanding of things like this from time to time.

    Accident insurance (not AD&D, life, auto), critical illness, and group legal are more or less not worth it, right?

    I’ve got auto, life, and AD&D but the accident and critical illness just seem like completely unnecessary adders because that should be covered under any health plan you have. Is this basically the equivalent of Gap Insurance to help cover the OOP maxes?

    Group legal seems like it might be worth it with aging parents. I’m just not sure if this is going to get you basically a referral in the end. I don’t want to pay for the privilege of getting referred. I’m also aware it’s not even remotely the same as having a lawyer on retainer (do people still do that?)

    Dows this match the consensus?
    I'll throw in my two cents.

    First, it's probably a good idea to figure out exactly what you are buying before you decide to enroll. I think your employer should have some sort of "plan summary" that generally describes what you get under that plan.

    It's my understanding that "accident insurance" in the context of an employer sponsored group plan is somewhat similar to the AFLAC insurance you see advertised on tv. It provides you with certain benefits that are sort of supplementary to what you'd receive under your standard health insurance, with the primary difference (I believe) that the money comes directly to you rather than to the hospital. Thus, you've got some flexibility over what you spend the money on, and could even use it to pay something like your rent or mortgage.

    I believe that "critical illness" insurance can best be described as being similar to an umbrella liability insurance policy. It's intended to cover you when you end up having some sort of catastrophic event where your medical bills overwhelm whatever basic medical insurance you might have. For example, a lengthy bout with cancer, or maybe you need an organ transplant or something.

    As for group legal insurance, again it's in the details. Exactly what do you get for your coverage? Most of the plans I've seen basically give the participant maybe a handful of consultations (calls, usually) each year of maybe a half hour in length each. It might also give you the ability to have them review a contract, like a lease or a purchase agreement for a home, or something like that. There may also be some very basic estate planning coverage. Before I'd sign up for that, I'd review carefully exactly what benefits are provided, ask yourself how likely it is you'll need those services, and weigh that against the cost.

    If you think about it, when will you need a lawyer? If you're in a car accident and someone sues you, your car insurance will provide the lawyer. If you're in a car accident and you need to sue someone else, there will be a line of lawyers waiting to take your case on a contingency fee basis, which won't require you to pay anything.

    Most homeowners or renters insurance policies also provide a level of liability insurance, not only on your property, but even outside your property for certain events (not car accidents obviously).

    If you commit a crime, your defense costs will be large, so don't commit a crime. If you get a divorce you can spend endless sums of money fighting with your ex, but honestly the size of that expense will depend largely on how much you want to fight.

    There are certainly lots of situations where you could need a lawyer, but I'm not sure most of them will rise to the expense level where you need to purchase insurance to cover the cost. But again, I'd certainly want to review the plan summary on any of these before making a decision.

    Good luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • dxmnkd316
    replied
    Life insurance is with it for me because my wife makes significantly less than I do and has fairly large student debt. She chose to forgo being another chemical engineer and decided to make the world a better place as a masters-level therapist. For $20 a month, I can sleep easier knowing she’s financially secure no matter what.

    Critical illness is like “You have a heart attack, we’ll cut you a check for $15k”. I have health insurance with an OOP max of $5.5k. I don’t see the need.

    We do have LT disability through work. I need to figure out how that works if I’m no longer able to work. Can my employer just fire me and I lose it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kepler
    replied
    Not sure what you mean by "critical illness."

    Catastrophic (LT/ permanent disability) is worth it. It costs a pittance. Push it to the highest percentage of your current income you can -- it usually tops off at something like 80% for LTD / 60% for permanent.

    Always look at the partial dismemberment numbers because they're funny. You can calculate exactly what an arm and a leg is worth.

    The auto insurance etc are crap assuming you have your own insurance. That is just your employer selling you as a commodity to the insurer as a profit center. Because capitalism sucks and the last corporate executive should be strangled with the entrails of the last banker.

    Life insurance is a con assuming your spouse is not a braindead fundy incubator.

    If there's access to a legal counsel sign up for it; it usually costs something like a buck a month (literally) and it can save you on minimal PITA legal services. Obviously don't use them in any litigation targeting your employer because there is no such thing as lawyer integrity.

    Leave a comment:

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