Huh 1: We could play at Questions

[MissThundercat]

Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?

It's normal and healthy for people in a relationship to want some time alone or to go out separately with their own friends. COVID has made it impossible for my girlfriend, who is extroverted, to have "girls only" nights out with her pals. That would ordinarily be my big chance for alone time, so instead we've just had an occasional night apart when my introverted self needs a recharge. Or sometimes one of us will go hang out in the basement for a couple of hours.

[Kepler]

Since we no longer have a singles/relationship thread...

What do you do when you've reached the "leave me alone, I'm lonely" phase of your relationship?

That means you're getting somewhere real, so that's good. People don't allow themselves to be touched like that in superficial relationships.

You have to know that real relationships, ones that will last a lifetime, are hell and they never stop being hell. You get better at communicating and you get better at reading your partner, and the two of you realize more and more as time passes that the other is there for them and not intentionally The Greatest Monster in History, but paradoxically that pulls you closer and more open and that makes points of discord even more unpleasant.

A true pairing is painful -- you are pulling each other into your own skin. That hurts and it never stops hurting. But you pass a point of no return where you want to be a pair, not just a self.

And I want him to be
More interested in me
Than he is in himself

And more interested in us
Than in me.

As for what you do, you ride it out, be kind, be understanding, don't hold grudges, forgive, talk, say what you feel, listen.

Coldness is the enemy. Even as you give space be loving.

Note: this is so hard we all spend our lives working on it, so don't beat yourselves up or think something is wrong if you keep bumping into tensions. You will. Forever. But you'll also face the world together, so it's worth it.

[dxmnkd316]

Yeah, totally agree with all of what’s been posted. My wife works every third weekend. So I usually take that time for just me and catch up on shows she would hate or do things around the house in “my areas”.

We use the rest of our time doing things together. But that recharge is nice. And I still remember during one of those weekends by myself thinking, this fucking sucks. That will also happen. I was looking forward to just sitting down and playing a video game for a couple hours. About 30 mins in I had to put it down.

Last weekend she worked and the Goofs were playing. It sucked to not watch the games with her.

[MissThundercat]

Why do retail managers know your department is behind, then stop you dead in your tracks for 15 minutes to lecture you about being behind?

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Why do retail managers know your department is behind, then stop you dead in your tracks for 15 minutes to lecture you about being behind?

Your being behind reflects on their poor leadership.

[LynahFan]

Your being behind reflects on their poor leadership.

Also, they want something to be able to talk about with THEIR management. "I sat MissT down and discussed it, so I proactively did my job!"

[MissThundercat]

Over the last 5 months, I got so caught up in saving the world that I forgot to save myself. What do you do when you feel yourself falling into that trap?

[MissThundercat]

I have faux suede boots and they have white water marks from winter. How do I clean those up?