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Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

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  • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

    Originally posted by Rover View Post
    Um excuse me, but did you ever stop and consider that God has Bob on speed dial, and has been conferring with him on a regular basis as to HIS wishes on this issue?

    Because, if that is true, when you get to the Pearly Gates, you're gonna feel real stupid if Bob is the one holding the keys to them.
    Yeah, it's the number right after Pat Robertson's.

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    • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

      Originally posted by Rover View Post
      Um excuse me, but did you ever stop and consider that God has Bob on speed dial, and has been conferring with him on a regular basis as to HIS wishes on this issue?

      Because, if that is true, when you get to the Pearly Gates, you're gonna feel real stupid if Bob is the one holding the keys to them.
      No, I never considered an imaginary man in the clouds has Bob on speed dial. The FSM would have me on speed dial but since He is made out of pasta, He can't dial a phone.

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      • Originally posted by geezer View Post
        You might want to use a different example (and there are others). Solomon was famous for rejecting God to glory in his own wisdom (and collect wives, etc).
        David then?

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        • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

          Originally posted by geezer View Post
          You might want to use a different example (and there are others). Solomon was famous for rejecting God to glory in his own wisdom (and collect wives, etc).
          Well, if we're only allowed to use guys in the Bible who never sinned as role models, there's only one choice, and in that case nobody should ever get married or procreate.
          If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?

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          • Originally posted by Priceless View Post
            No, I never considered an imaginary man in the clouds has Bob on speed dial. The FSM would have me on speed dial but since He is made out of pasta, He can't dial a phone.
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            • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

              "Look at this bible I just got - fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book...everybody's a sinner! Except for this guy."
              "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

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              • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                Originally posted by LynahFan View Post
                Well, if we're only allowed to use guys in the Bible who never sinned as role models, there's only one choice, and in that case nobody should ever get married or procreate.
                I thought he had a girlfriend, and they changed the Bible in order to force ministers into celibacy...

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                • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                  I recall the Simpsons episode when Marge was thinking about divorcing Homer and had Rev. Lovejoy come over for a visit.

                  Rev Lovejoy: Marge, I think you should divorce Homer.

                  Marge: Reverend Lovejoy! Doesn't the Bible say that's a sin?!?

                  Rev Lovejoy: Have you read this thing? Everything's a sin.
                  Legally drunk???? If its "legal", what's the ------- problem?!? - George Carlin

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                  • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                    Originally posted by unofan View Post
                    David then?
                    David's adultery is also held up as "what not to do" like Solomon's pursuit of pleasure, not a role model to follow (except when he repents). However, the patriarchs - Abraham, Isaac, Jacob - I believe had multiple wives and it was all good. It's not clear to me why we don't all keep a spare or two anymore to help with the laundry.
                    Here is a helpful website called "Biblical Polygamy" ("Polygamy is really Biblical!") that has researched the question...
                    Last edited by geezer; 07-26-2013, 10:02 AM.
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                    • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                      Originally posted by geezer View Post
                      David's adultery is also held up as "what not to do" like Solomon's pursuit of pleasure, not a role model to follow (except when he repents). However, the patriarchs - Abraham, Isaac, Jacob - I believe had multiple wives and it was all good. It's not clear to me why we don't all keep a spare or two anymore to help with the laundry.
                      Explaining the concept of "context" to a huff-and-puffer is like trying to teach an old dog new tricks.

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                      • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                        Originally posted by FlagDUDE08 View Post
                        Explaining the concept of "context" to a huff-and-puffer is like trying to teach an old dog new tricks.
                        I was actually trying to agree with unofan, in a roundabout way.
                        Huskies are very intelligent and trainable. Huskies make an excellent jogging companion, as long as it is not too hot. Grooming is minimal; bathing is normally unnecessary.
                        USCHO Fantasy Baseball Champion 2011 2013 2015

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                        • Originally posted by geezer View Post
                          David's adultery is also held up as "what not to do" like Solomon's pursuit of pleasure, not a role model to follow (except when he repents). However, the patriarchs - Abraham, Isaac, Jacob - I believe had multiple wives and it was all good. It's not clear to me why we don't all keep a spare or two anymore to help with the laundry.
                          I know there's all the begats in there, but does it clarify that Jesus is a descendant of David's first wife? Or was joseph descended from one of the latter wives?

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                          • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                            Originally posted by unofan View Post
                            I know there's all the begats in there, but does it clarify that Jesus is a descendant of David's first wife? Or was joseph descended from one of the latter wives?
                            I don't know, but Jesus is both the son of Joseph (descendant of David) and his mother was a virgin. How is this explained, if ever? It's not going to keep me up nights, but I've wondered about it.
                            Huskies are very intelligent and trainable. Huskies make an excellent jogging companion, as long as it is not too hot. Grooming is minimal; bathing is normally unnecessary.
                            USCHO Fantasy Baseball Champion 2011 2013 2015

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                            • Originally posted by geezer View Post
                              I don't know, but Jesus is both the son of Joseph (descendant of David) and his mother was a virgin. How is this explained, if ever? It's not going to keep me up nights, but I've wondered about it.
                              Joseph was his foster father. Jesus's real father is God.

                              There are some that believe that nothing went in and nothing came out of Mary's birth canal
                              . That may make Joseph as having the first recorded case of ED.
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                              • Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

                                Originally posted by joecct View Post
                                Joseph was his foster father. Jesus's real father is God.
                                I always thought Jesus came from His Noodly Appendage.

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