Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

not quite sure how well your choice of adverb fits ("easily"?) but otherwise your answer sounds superficially like the "advice" given to gays and lesbians 50 years ago: two gay men each marry two lesbians and all four share a house.

My parents just don't get me, you know. They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy. Or a couple guys. But it's the 2000's. Can't two... or four dudes make out with each other without being gay? I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.

[unofan]

While that concept did help inspire the original impulse to start this thread, i also issued a clear invitation to discuss the state of monogamous heterosexual marriage as well.

Like many other people in this country, I was "married" in a civil union at the county courthouse, not in a "marriage" in the sacramental sense of the word. I was curious to hear others' perspectives on the state of "marriage" in general, be it BLT GLBT * or conventional. My background in systems theory indicated that there are two competing "models", one in which the focus is primarily on the couple, and the other in which the family is the primary focus.

I think poor people have been disproportionately harmed to a great degree by the rejection of the latter and the glamorization of the former.





* I am still really puzzled by the implications of two bi-sexuals marrying each other. Wouldn't they "require" a threesome by definition??

Bi-sexual just means you're attracted to both genders. It doesn't mean you require both at the same time or that you can't pick one individual to live with for life.

Edit: John Rosemond, the national columnist, would disagree with you regarding your assertion about couples vs. family. His position is that today's families are full of strife because parents ignore the couples aspect and focus too much on the family, aka kids. And he's extremely conservative in his views (life was better in the mythical 50's as shown on Leave it to Beaver)

[WisconsinWildcard]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

not quite sure how well your choice of adverb fits ("easily"?) but otherwise your answer sounds superficially like the "advice" given to gays and lesbians 50 years ago: two gay men each marry two lesbians and all four share a house.

I think the distinction needs to be made between sexual drive and behavior. I generally use sexuality terms to describe drive more often than behavior. For instance, a man may be married to a woman but internally, his sexual drive is predominantly homosexual. If he does not act on his homosexual drive but instead only has heterosexual sex with his wife, how would you identify his sexual orientation?

In the same way, bi-sexuality can be used to describe someone who has an equal drive for both sexes. This does not mean they act equally on those drives. If they end up with a woman, it does not mean they inevitably need to have sex with a man.

We all have sexual drives that we do not act upon (unless you are asexual). Our lovely prefrontal cortex informs on whether it is a good or bad idea to listen to our reptilian brain at any particular moment. I may have a sexual preference for brunettes (thank you reptilian brain). If I marry a blonde, does that change my preference? No.

Edit-unofan is correct

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

I think the distinction needs to be made between sexual drive and behavior. I generally use sexuality terms to describe drive more often than behavior. For instance, a man may be married to a woman but internally, his sexual drive is predominantly homosexual. If he does not act on his homosexual drive but instead only has heterosexual sex with his wife, how would you identify his sexual orientation?

In the same way, bi-sexuality can be used to describe someone who has an equal drive for both sexes. This does not mean they act equally on those drives. If they end up with a woman, it does not mean they inevitably need to have sex with a man.

We all have sexual drives that we do not act upon (unless you are asexual). Our lovely prefrontal cortex informs on whether it is a good or bad idea to listen to our reptilian brain at any particular moment. I may have a sexual preference for brunettes (thank you reptilian brain). If I marry a blonde, does that change my preference? No.

Edit-unofan is correct

So if a straight guy takes a job doing gay porn because the pay is much higher in order to support his wife and family, does that make him gay?

[WisconsinWildcard]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

So if a straight guy takes a job doing gay porn because the pay is much higher in order to support his wife and family, does that make him gay?

I think you answered your own question

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

I think you answered your own question

No it doesn't. I'm showing the flaw in your argument.

[Shirtless Guy]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

Bi-sexual just means you're attracted to both genders. It doesn't mean you require both at the same time or that you can't pick one individual to live with for life.

Edit: John Rosemond, the national columnist, would disagree with you regarding your assertion about couples vs. family. His position is that today's families are full of strife because parents ignore the couples aspect and focus too much on the family, aka kids. And he's extremely conservative in his views (life was better in the mythical 50's as shown on Leave it to Beaver)

Oh I think that is completely true, parents forget that each other has needs and wants and they need to be happy too. Family is all about balance, kids need to learn their place in that balance and not be the focal point of family 24/7.

[WisconsinWildcard]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

No it doesn't. I'm showing the flaw in your argument.

By your own admission in the silly hypothetical, you identified him as straight.

All I am trying to show is that things are not really black or white. I believe only an individual can identify their own sexuality. Labels applied by others are largely irrelevant.

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

By your own admission in the silly hypothetical, you identified him as straight.

All I am trying to show is that things are not really black or white. I believe only an individual can identify their own sexuality. Labels applied by others are largely irrelevant.

But by your admission in your argument, you identified the person as gay.

[WisconsinWildcard]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

But by your admission in your argument, you identified the person as gay.

Where?

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

Where?

Right here:

For instance, a man may be married to a woman but internally, his sexual drive is predominantly homosexual. If he does not act on his homosexual drive but instead only has heterosexual sex with his wife, how would you identify his sexual orientation?

[WisconsinWildcard]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

Right here:

I think you are confusing an open ended question with a statement. I did not make an identification or assign a label. I merely described a drive and behavior (which were not synchronous) and left it open for interpretation by whoever needs to assign a label.

[Priceless]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

Where?

Here: Diagonally.

[burd]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

I was wondering. If I were to, say, go abroad for a while for work and return back home to my wife of 30 plus years and she lifted her skirt to show off a pair of big hairy balls and a tool to go along with, what would be the appropriate response? Biblically speaking.

Not that she would ever do such a thing, mind you, or that I would take even the slightest interest in looking at it if she did. She is capable of surprises though, and everything but the bowling has been pretty dull for several years.

[joecct]

Re: Just what IS "marriage" anyway?

I was wondering. If I were to, say, go abroad for a while for work and return back home to my wife of 30 plus years and she lifted her skirt to show off a pair of big hairy balls and a tool to go along with, what would be the appropriate response? Biblically speaking.

Not that she would ever do such a thing, mind you, or that I would take even the slightest interest in looking at it if she did. She is capable of surprises though, and everything but the bowling has been pretty dull for several years.

Ask them??

The little red links are a hoot!