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a cowboy named bud

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  • a cowboy named bud

    ubject: A cowboy named Bud
    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

    Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

    Now give me back my dog.

    a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike, daddy.

  • #2
    Re: a cowboy named bud

    Can beer make you smart?

    It made Bud wiser.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom


    • #3
      Re: a cowboy named bud

      I have done enough work in and around state and national government to see very little humor in that 'story'.

      The next version would be the person stopping to address the leak in your yard as reported by some agrieved party, doing lots of studies, determining via dubious assumptions they could pay for another major initiative by fixing your leak, flooding your house trying to stop the leak, realizing none of the benefits promised when getting funding for this fix and then learning it was just your lawn sprinkler all along.

      As long as 51% ofthe public thinks the entire problem is the other 49% of the people then the government (most of which isn't negatively impacted by change in party) just keeps chuckling as it continues on its merry way of mediocrity, waste, red tape and confusion. The change in party actually sustains the stop/start mentality that reduces the likelihood anybody gets a feel for reducing the size and cost of government in the brief time they are 'in charge'.
      I believe in life, and I believe in love, but the world in which I live in keeps trying to prove me wrong.


      • #4
        Re: a cowboy named bud


        Wait for it. Waaaaaaaait for it...
        Cornell University
        National Champion 1967, 1970
        ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
        Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020


        • #5
          Re: a cowboy named bud

          mookie needs to get a life.
          What kind of cheese are you planning to put on top?


          • #6
            Re: a cowboy named bud

            I don't get Mookies bit
            tUMD Hockey

            "And there is a banana running around the DECC." "Well you don't see that every day..."


            • #7
              Re: a cowboy named bud

              Michigan Tech Huskies Pep Band: There's No Use Trying To Talk. No Human Sound Can Stand Up To This. Loud Enough To Knock You Down.