Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

    Originally posted by DrDemento View Post
    Don't you know by now there is not gravity-the earth just sucks.
    That blows my theory.

    Comment


    • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

      Originally posted by DrDemento View Post
      Don't you know by now there is not gravity-the earth just sucks.
      Unless you are Chuck Norris.

      Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down while he stays in place.
      "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

      "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

      "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

      "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

      Comment


      • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

        I can't quite remember the setup...

        the punchline is "pea green soup."
        "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

        "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

        "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

        "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

        Comment


        • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

          Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
          I can't quite remember the setup...

          the punchline is "pea green soup."
          Father Karras, what did your client have for lunch?

          Comment


          • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

            Originally posted by owslachief View Post
            Father Karras, what did your client have for lunch?
            That might be the first part.

            The second part would then be, "what did your client do after lunch?"


            but the original was much more clever than that.
            "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

            "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

            "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

            "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

            Comment


            • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

              Did you hear about the man that was chilled to absolute zero?

              He's 0K now.
              Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
              wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



              Arenas visited:
              7 B1G, 7 CCHA (all except St Thomas), 6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU), 5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont), 5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson), 2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT), 2 Alaskan

              Comment


              • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                Originally posted by wolverineTrumpet View Post
                Did you hear about the man that was chilled to absolute zero?

                He's 0K now.
                They put him in a Kelvinator
                CCT '77 & '78
                4 kids
                5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                - Benjamin Franklin

                Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                Comment


                • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                  There are two types of people in the world, those that can reasonably draw conclusions from incomplete data sets.
                  Michigan Tech Huskies Pep Band: There's No Use Trying To Talk. No Human Sound Can Stand Up To This. Loud Enough To Knock You Down.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                    Originally posted by Twitch Boy View Post
                    There are two types of people in the world, those that can reasonably draw conclusions from incomplete data sets.
                    there are 10 types of poeple in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't
                    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                    Comment


                    • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                      I had dinner with a guy who had a face like that of a Detroit Lions RB, but the body of the actor who played Greg Brady. For dessert he ordered Mixed Barrys.
                      Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

                      WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                        Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
                        there are 10 types of poeple in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't
                        Yes the IT-types are fond of that one.
                        There are 3 kinds of humorists in the world: Those that can count, and those that can't.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                          Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
                          there are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't
                          Was that theory promulgated by Dr. Noyes?
                          CCT '77 & '78
                          4 kids
                          5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                          1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                          ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                          - Benjamin Franklin

                          Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                          I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                            Yes the IT-types are fond of that one.

                            Also, there are 3 kinds of humorists in the world: Those that can count, and those that can't.

                            I feel like it's light-changing time - P.C. / modern version ...
                            Those who know what I'm talking about or have been lectured by choral directors may get a chuckle from this:
                            Q: How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb / CFL / LED?


                            A: Hard to say; nobody watches.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                              Originally posted by owslachief View Post
                              I feel like it's light-changing time - P.C. / modern version ...
                              How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                              -- One, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.


                              DAdumDUM.
                              "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                              "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                              "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                              "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                              Comment


                              • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                                Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
                                How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                                -- One, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.


                                DAdumDUM.
                                I miss the pictures.... How's the veal?
                                CCT '77 & '78
                                4 kids
                                5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                                1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                                ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                                - Benjamin Franklin

                                Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                                I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X