Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

[FreshFish]

As I Love Lucy was to television comedy, so is our inaugural pun to our thread title:



Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it is ajar.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Q: did you hear about the evil tuna?

A: He was rotten to the albacore.

[The Rube]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Obligatory:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns

[walrus]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

beer

[Twitch Boy]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Obligatory:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns

Man, your paranomasia is showing

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A person with one eye can see more than a person with two eyes can see.

The person with the one eye can see the other person's two eyes, whereas the person with the two eyes can only see the other person's one.

[gounhwildcats]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Ya, this is all very punny.

[state of hockey]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Geology rocks.

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I met a guy who works in a theatre, and he said that he calls the lights. So, I asked him, "What do you call the lights?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Bulbs." I then asked him, "What happens if the lights don't come when you call them?" He didn't know, and so I helped him out: "Long time, no see."

[LynahFan]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I remember the first pun I ever heard, courtesy of my pun-obsessed father, who had just thrown an apple core into the bushes.

Me (age 6): Dad, you shouldn't litter.
Dad: Don't worry. A henway will get it.
Me: What's a henway?
Dad: About 3 pounds.

[Jimjamesak]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A: The elephino!

[Twitch Boy]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a flight of stairs.

Ba-dum tssh.

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

What's a hindu?

Lays eggs.

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

One winter evening, a tremendous blizzard hit the native American reservation. Snow was piled in huge drifts everywhere, so much so that people could not even leave their homes for days.

Nine months later, the reservation maternity ward was full to overflowing. They never had so many women about to deliver at the same time. All beds were full, so they started taking out futons, and to keep the mothers about to give birth warm and comfortable, they scrounged around looking for animal skins to cover the futon. They found a bison skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for one, they found a deer skin, and prepared a snug delivery place for another.

Finally, the last woman on the reservation about to give birth came to the clinic. They looked everywhere for an animal skin. Just then, one of the attendants remembered that a traveling zoo had passed their way a few years ago, and an old hippopotamus had died. The circus owner and the tribal leader worked something out, and eventually the tribe had a fine hippopotamus skin, which they were able to find and spread out to make a fine place to deliver a baby.

Well, dawn finally arrived. During the night, the first two women each gave birth to a fine healthy boy, and the last woman gave birth to twin baby boys.

One of many different ways to prove once again, that the sons of the squaw of the hippopatomus are equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.