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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
Where does Eileen work?
IHOP.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
Where does Eileen work?
IHOP.
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Michigan Tech Huskies Pep Band: There's No Use Trying To Talk. No Human Sound Can Stand Up To This. Loud Enough To Knock You Down. -
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Back in the day, Lamont Cranston, aka "The Shadow", was said to love peanut butter nougat candy. In fact, one of the principle responsibilities of his butler Hoy was to ensure that Lamont always had a large supply of his favorite sweet. Over time though, Lamont started to notice that his nougat seemed to be disappearing faster than he was eating it. Suspecting his butler, Cranston comes home unannounced one evening, flings open the door to the kitchen, and sure enough there's his trusted butler Hoy, empty wrapper in hand with melted nougat all over his face. Cranston fixes his butler with a steely gaze and says, "Pardon me Hoy, is that the Shadow's nougat you chew?"Comment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.sigpic
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?Originally posted by Twitch Boy View Post
IreneComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
At what time of day does one visit a Chinese-American dentist?
Tooth Hurty."Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."
"Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats
"People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdomComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
I'm having Vuja de. That's the feeling of having never done this before.Originally posted by JF_Gophers View PostComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
The government bill to ban alcohol was met by a chorus of booze.Comment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
When we were kids, my sister used to get a dollar after going to the dentist for having a good check up. Me, all I ever got was a little plaque.Comment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What did she change her name to after she got a prosthetic?Originally posted by Twitch Boy View Post
PegA Decade of Dominance
2001 2003 2004 2007 2008 2011Comment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What do you call a guy with no arms an no legs in a hot tub?
StuCCT '77 & '78
4 kids
5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)
”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
- Benjamin Franklin
Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).
I want to live forever. So far, so good.Comment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Once upon a time there was a relief pitcher named Milt Faymie who piched for the Yankees. He was having a spectacular year getting save after save for his team. But most people didn't know Milt had a problem with alcohol.
As expected the Yanks made it to the World Series, but unexpectedly, they were tied 3-3 in the series with the Dodgers. It came down to the last game, and everyone knew that if it came down to Milt coming in for the save, the Dodgers would be toast. The Dodgers team knew they had to do something desperate, so they snuck a couple of six-packs of Schlitz into Milt's locker. Milt couldn't resist the amber nectar, so by the time the ninth inning rolled around he was toasted.
It turns out, the Yanks needed him in this game more than ever. The Yanks were up 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth, but the Dodgers had managed to load the bases. The call went out for Milt, and the Dodger fans groaned. But Milt had control problems. He walked in the tying run, and then walked in the winning run. The great Milt Faymie blew a save at the most critical time in his career. The Dodgers won the series! Brooklyn went crazy!
During the celebration, someone snuck into the Yankees locker room and retrieved the evidence of the Dodgers' treachery. It then got mixed up with all the champagne and beer bottles in the Dodger locker room. It was almost thrown away with all the other garbage, but an alert Brooklyn player stopped the maintenance man from throwing the bottles away.
Do you know what he said? "Give me those bottles, son. That's the beer that made Milt Faymie walk us."Last edited by Hopkinja; 02-09-2012, 07:38 AM.Cornell '82
"The first time I went to a Cornell game, I was in awe. I'm a big believer that sports fans should get out and see everything -- the Indy 500, the Super Bowl, the Kentucky Derby. I've seen all that, and there's nothing like Lynah Rink." - Carl McKee, father of Cornell Goalie, David McKeeComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
if the jets are turned up too high, Bob.Originally posted by joecct View Post"Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."
"Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats
"People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdomComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in front of your door?Originally posted by joecct View Post
MattCornell '82
"The first time I went to a Cornell game, I was in awe. I'm a big believer that sports fans should get out and see everything -- the Indy 500, the Super Bowl, the Kentucky Derby. I've seen all that, and there's nothing like Lynah Rink." - Carl McKee, father of Cornell Goalie, David McKeeComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
Two guys with no arms and no legs that are nailed to the wall above your window?Originally posted by Hopkinja View Post
Curt and RodComment
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1
and Art? Naw, he's lower down on the wall.....Originally posted by johnnypohlfan View Post"Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."
"Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats
"People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdomComment
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