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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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  • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

    And how is today's Yom Kippur service going, Rabbi?

    Hmmm, pretty good shofar!

    Comment


    • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

      why is it the case that female college graduates get bachelors' degrees?
      "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

      "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

      "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

      "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

      Comment


      • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

        Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
        why is it the case that female college graduates get bachelors' degrees?
        Because they then qualify for the Masters of Relational Science degree.
        CCT '77 & '78
        4 kids
        5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
        1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

        ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
        - Benjamin Franklin

        Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

        I want to live forever. So far, so good.

        Comment


        • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

          King Arthur's largest knight was Sir Cumference, who became so rotund by having a lot of pi.

          Comment


          • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

            I miss having the threads lock after 1,000 posts.

            I had a great name for the successor to this thread picked out (as you can tell from the way I named this thread):

            "Really Terrible Puns Vol 10"

            and the first post would have been

            "There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
            Those that understand binary arithmetic, and those that don't."


            Oh, well. So it goes.
            "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

            "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

            "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

            "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

            Comment


            • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

              I would never try to poison you. Now come here and eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

              Comment


              • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                I would never try to poison you. Now come here and eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
                "Yesterday I got food poisoning. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to use it."
                Steven Wright
                Last edited by owslachief; 10-03-2014, 01:10 PM.

                Comment


                • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                  What did the scientist say when his sister dropped a beaker on his toe?

                  OWWW! My toe sis!
                  Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                  "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                  Patreon for exclusive writing content
                  Adventures With Amber Marie

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                    What did the scientist say when his sister dropped a beaker on his toe?

                    OWWW! My toe sis!
                    I hope it wasn't fissionable material.
                    CCT '77 & '78
                    4 kids
                    5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                    1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                    ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                    - Benjamin Franklin

                    Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                    I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                      Why did the nitwit have "urine is yellow" tattooed on the back of his hand?

                      "So he could tell whether he was coming or going."
                      Fly Eagles Fly!!!

                      Comment


                      • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                        Where do Jews celebrate Shabbat on the Starship Enterprise?

                        On the challah deck.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

                        Comment


                        • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                          What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by owslachief View Post
                            What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
                            A whoosh?
                            CCT '77 & '78
                            4 kids
                            5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                            1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                            ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                            - Benjamin Franklin

                            Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                            I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                              Originally posted by owslachief View Post
                              What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
                              There is a "b" in "both" ?


                              tip of the hat to Lewis Carroll.
                              "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                              "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                              "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                              "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                              Comment


                              • Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                                once you've seen a shopping center, you've seen them mall.
                                Originally posted by mtu_huskies
                                "We are not too far away from a national championship," said (John) Scott.
                                Boosh Factor 4

                                Originally posted by Brent Hoven
                                Yeah, but you're my favorite hag.

                                Comment

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