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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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  • #316
    Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

    University of Texas makes a good pun. Well done, UT!

    Reminds me of this one, which I've also seen attributed as a prank by West Point, but a typo seems more likely.
    If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?

    Comment

    • #317
      Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

      ESPN has decided to start a new morning show about the stock market. They call it "Jim Rome is Earning".

      Comment

      • #318
        Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

        Did you hear about the cement contractor who was trying to scam a Mediterranean government?

        yup, he was trying to con Crete.
        "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

        "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

        "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

        "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

        Comment

        • #319
          Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

          Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
          Did you hear about the cement contractor who was trying to scam a Mediterranean government?

          yup, he was trying to con Crete.
          Groan! That was a hard one to take.
          Take the shortest distance to the puck and arrive in ill humor

          Comment

          • #320
            Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

            Originally posted by DrDemento View Post
            Groan! That was a hard one to take.
            It was fine in the aggregate.
            If you don't change the world today, how can it be any better tomorrow?

            Comment

            • #321
              Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

              The bald man's daughter gave him a comb for a present.

              He was so touched, he said he'd never part with it.
              "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

              "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

              "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

              "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

              Comment

              • #322
                Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                When I first heard the term "xenophobia" (say it quickly), I thought it was the fear of warrior princesses.

                Comment

                • #323
                  Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                  Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
                  The bald man's daughter gave him a comb for a present.

                  He was so touched, he said he'd never part with it.
                  Is the fellow an example of hair today, gone tomorrow?
                  Take the shortest distance to the puck and arrive in ill humor

                  Comment

                  • #324
                    Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                    Originally posted by DrDemento View Post
                    Is the fellow an example of hair today, gone tomorrow?
                    ask his wife, it's hirsute. (her suit) ugh. sorry.
                    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                    Comment

                    • #325
                      Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                      A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


                      I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can
                      stop any time.
                      sigpic


                      Comment

                      • #326
                        Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                        the atheist dyslexic? didn't believe in dog.
                        Originally posted by mtu_huskies
                        "We are not too far away from a national championship," said (John) Scott.
                        Boosh Factor 4

                        Originally posted by Brent Hoven
                        Yeah, but you're my favorite hag.

                        Comment

                        • #327
                          Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                          the religious atheist? believed in Santa.
                          Originally posted by mtu_huskies
                          "We are not too far away from a national championship," said (John) Scott.
                          Boosh Factor 4

                          Originally posted by Brent Hoven
                          Yeah, but you're my favorite hag.

                          Comment

                          • #328
                            Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                            Originally posted by FreshFish View Post
                            ask his wife, it's hirsute. (her suit) ugh. sorry.
                            FF-It is just no good when you have to explain them. Just throw them out there and see what happens. If they get the big groan-you know you have got something there.
                            Take the shortest distance to the puck and arrive in ill humor

                            Comment

                            • #329
                              Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                              Originally posted by DrDemento View Post
                              FF-It is just no good when you have to explain them. Just throw them out there and see what happens. If they get the big groan-you know you have got something there.
                              Possibly talking yourself into a hole?

                              Comment

                              • #330
                                Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

                                Originally posted by LynahFan View Post
                                It was fine in the aggregate.
                                Oooh, this was very good.


                                reminds me of a take on a famous trope from the '60s:

                                "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
                                "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                                "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                                "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                                "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                                Comment

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