Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Why did the nitwit have "urine is yellow" tattooed on the back of his hand?

"So he could tell whether he was coming or going."

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I usually try to go to the gym at 2AM. I only go at high noon when I want a light workout.

[Tiggsy]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Frank Zamboni invented the famous machine we all know. Frank died in 1988 so he has been gone quite a while but still resurfaces periodically.

[jericho]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The therapist told the contortionist that his stress was nothing to get bent out of shape over.

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Frank Zamboni invented the famous machine we all know. Frank died in 1988 so he has been gone quite a while but still resurfaces periodically.

They have him on ice?

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A tourist in 19th century Vienna went to visit Beethoven's tomb, and he heard a faint scratching noise. He looked inside, and there was Beethoven's ghost, busily erasing musical notes from a score.

"Wh- Wh- Wh- What are you doing?" the nervous tourist asked.

Ludwig's ghost replied, "Decomposing."

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Two wrongs do not make a right.
But three lefts do.

[duper]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Two wrongs do not make a right.
But three lefts do.

And two Wrights make an airplane

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

If at first you don't succeed, try making failure your goal.

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

My friend's wife, who is from England, had a terrible row with her son, but she shrugged it off as just another bad heir day.




Unrelated true story. I had an aunt from England who asked for our help in finding her husband's "car keys." we looked everywhere until we realized that she really wanted us to find his "khakis", which we then found pretty quickly.

[DrDemento]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed. He was a real tan gent.

[LynahFan]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Okay, not a pun, but my favorite mathematician joke:

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil.

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Okay, not a pun, but my favorite mathematician joke:

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil.

I hope he then didn't use that pencil to cosine a loan....

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed. He was a real tan gent.

Ralph?

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Not sure how much truth there is to this....

I heard a rumor that Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra are expecting a child. Their friends were wondering whether it might be a baseball player or a soccer player. Supposedly Mia was ecstatic that, three months prior to birth, she could already feel the baby kicking!