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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

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  • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Originally posted by state of hockey View Post
    So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
    I really hate being set up with a date. People, you don't really know what someone else looks for in a date, so stop presuming that you do. I've been set up a few times, and it's never gone even remotely well.
    "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

    "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

    "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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    • Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
      I really hate being set up with a date. People, you don't really know what someone else looks for in a date, so stop presuming that you do. I've been set up a few times, and it's never gone even remotely well.
      I agree. But I'll just let this one play out. She went Grand Rapids High School, which means she probably knows my ex. Never a great thing. Oh, and she went to UND, so this probably has no chance of working out.
      the state of hockey is good

      Comment


      • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

        Originally posted by St. Clown View Post
        I really hate being set up with a date. People, you don't really know what someone else looks for in a date, so stop presuming that you do. I've been set up a few times, and it's never gone even remotely well.
        LOL. My step-grandmother once insisted she should fix me up with one of my half-aunt's brothers because "he likes sports". Well, that's enough reason to marry him right there. Sports??? No way!!!

        Comment


        • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

          Originally posted by state of hockey View Post
          I agree. But I'll just let this one play out. She went Grand Rapids High School, which means she probably knows my ex. Never a great thing. Oh, and she went to UND, so this probably has no chance of working out.
          Maybe not, but hate sex is always a great option.

          Comment


          • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

            Originally posted by state of hockey View Post
            So it seems as though a few of my friends are trying to set me up with a girl one of my friends works with. Not a big fan of such things. Then they showed me pictures of her and I decided to not tell them to stop.
            Some girl tried to do that with me for one of her friends, but then she didn't want to once she found out that I have long hair.

            Comment


            • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

              I guess I’m writing this more to put this entire thing into some sort of context that I can understand, and perhaps that by posting here, someone else can avoid my mistake.

              My freshman year at UNH, the fall of 2004, my roommate tried to set me up with a girl in our dorm that he thought would be a good girlfriend for me. He had his own girlfriend, so he was simply being a good roommate. Things went rather well to begin with, and there was an early connection. However, unbeknownst to me, she also had a boyfriend back home. Now I was a little concerned at that notion, being of rather small stature, I was aware of just how easily I could lose a fight to an angry boyfriend. Therefore, I decided to pursue cautiously. Aggravating this was the fact that I was horrendously inexperienced with women at the time, so I had no idea what to pick up on, or when to make a move. Ultimately, I never made any sort of move at all. Things were kinda left hanging as we went to Christmas break. When we got back, I could notice things were different. We had a talk, and she said she didn’t really have feelings for me. This was, in retrospect, a crucial moment. I simply turned around, walked back to the dorm, and left it at that. I didn’t ask anything further, I didn’t want to get into reasons or anything. I just heard what I’d expected and walked home…no questions asked…literally.

              I then went through every one of the “5 stages” in a completely random order, sometimes going back and forth, yet one remaining a constant. I was angry, and acted like a complete ******* to her for the first few months after our conversation (I DID end up apologizing later). I was depressed, and usually consulted my friends Sam Adams and Jameson regarding what to do, without many answers.

              However, the two that stick out the most were denial and bargaining. We remained friends, mostly due to the fact that we shared a lot of friends in common, and so I simply refused to accept that she just wasn’t into me that way, and as a result tried everything in the book to try to re-light the fire. Perhaps that’s half the reason I acted like an *******. Then, after a while, I decided to go the Nice Guy route, and be helpful as could be without being a doormat. I tried distancing myself, only to discover that she was perfectly fine without me. I’d had relationships with other girls, but she had always stuck in the back of my head. I was constantly thinking that there had to be somehow, some way to get her interested in me again. “Maybe, if I was with another girl, she’d get jealous…” Simply put, that was my line of thinking, as she’d been with other guys and I lost my god**** mind over it.

              At any rate, this pretty much continued into this past spring, when she broke up with her most recent boyfriend, and I saw this as my time to strike. We’d gone skiing, and started hanging out a bit more, so I figured I could make a move again. We got to talking about how things were going this past week, and she was lamenting not having a boyfriend. So I brought up myself as an option, and we had “The Talk” again about how I’m more of a brother than a boyfriend, and all of that garbage.

              For some reason, it sank in this time, and I was more interested in investigating the reasons into it than simply torturing myself. I realized that I totally WAS in denial, and I was too much of a ****ing baby to accept it before. I think the moral of the story is don’t torture yourself over one woman that you think is The One…because she probably isn’t.
              A Decade of Dominance

              2001 2003 2004 2007 2008 2011

              Comment


              • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                Alright, so an update of sorts.

                A couple weeks ago, things with the girl at work were just so-so. Not bad, but no progress either. Then, she was talking to one of my friends at work and somehow he mentioned something I did that cracked him up, and her response was something along the lines of "Oh, so he can open up to people after all?" I didn't think that we even crossed paths often enough for her to expect much of anything, but apparently she did? I dunno. Anyway, he told her that yes I do open up to people, it can just take a while sometimes.

                The next two days after that she seemed much friendlier. We had a couple of walk-and-talks, mostly work related, but still. She called down to ask me specifically to come get something from upstairs, that really anybody down there could've gotten. The next week was a bit of a wash, but I was REALLY busy and frankly never even got much of a chance to see her. Then the other day this week, she came down to bring some paperwork, started back upstairs, and then turned around and started talking to me about something somebody had told her about me. We talked about that for a minute or two, and she went back about her business.

                Later that afternoon, she pulled an interesting move that really caught me off guard. I ran upstairs to talk to somebody, and on the way back down I started to go past her desk. She looked like she was pretty busy with whatever she was doing on the computer, so I just started to walk past and leave her be, but she suddenly turned away from the computer, faced and looked directly at me and plopped her arms down on the desk (in a get-your-attention way), smiled and rather enthusiastically said "Hi!" I said hi back, and we went back and forth with the typical "how are you doing/good, and you?" bit. It was quick, but the tone was rather... playful? I dunno. Then she kinda laughed and we went about our business. I dunno if she was just bored and decided to be random, or wanted to mess with me a little bit and see how I'd respond, or if she was just trying to get the point across that I'm welcome to stop and chat with her when I'm in the area, or if it was something else entirely.

                I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.

                Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud It's like pulling teeth to get any of them to go do much of anything. Trust me, I've tried.

                Comment


                • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                  Originally posted by AKJD View Post
                  Alright, so an update of sorts.

                  A couple weeks ago, things with the girl at work were just so-so. Not bad, but no progress either. Then, she was talking to one of my friends at work and somehow he mentioned something I did that cracked him up, and her response was something along the lines of "Oh, so he can open up to people after all?" I didn't think that we even crossed paths often enough for her to expect much of anything, but apparently she did? I dunno. Anyway, he told her that yes I do open up to people, it can just take a while sometimes.

                  The next two days after that she seemed much friendlier. We had a couple of walk-and-talks, mostly work related, but still. She called down to ask me specifically to come get something from upstairs, that really anybody down there could've gotten. The next week was a bit of a wash, but I was REALLY busy and frankly never even got much of a chance to see her. Then the other day this week, she came down to bring some paperwork, started back upstairs, and then turned around and started talking to me about something somebody had told her about me. We talked about that for a minute or two, and she went back about her business.

                  Later that afternoon, she pulled an interesting move that really caught me off guard. I ran upstairs to talk to somebody, and on the way back down I started to go past her desk. She looked like she was pretty busy with whatever she was doing on the computer, so I just started to walk past and leave her be, but she suddenly turned away from the computer, faced and looked directly at me and plopped her arms down on the desk (in a get-your-attention way), smiled and rather enthusiastically said "Hi!" I said hi back, and we went back and forth with the typical "how are you doing/good, and you?" bit. It was quick, but the tone was rather... playful? I dunno. Then she kinda laughed and we went about our business. I dunno if she was just bored and decided to be random, or wanted to mess with me a little bit and see how I'd respond, or if she was just trying to get the point across that I'm welcome to stop and chat with her when I'm in the area, or if it was something else entirely.

                  I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.

                  Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud It's like pulling teeth to get any of them to go do much of anything. Trust me, I've tried.
                  Ask her out for drinks after work with a group of friends. You go out with her and 2-3 other friends so you get time talk to her, and a better opportunity to see if there is anything there. You're in a group, so any awkwardness(is that a word?) is limited, and if it doesn't go well, then who cares, you were just a group of friends hanging out, no harm done.
                  Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

                  RIP - Kirby

                  Comment


                  • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                    Originally posted by AKJD View Post
                    Alright, so an update of sorts.

                    I do wish I'd responded better though. It sure seems to me that she's trying to reach out to me, but I think I need to come up with a couple topics of conversation that I can cram into my head so I don't forget in the moment, so if she does something like that again, I can try to take the situation and go with it.

                    Any thoughts? Like I said, it seems to me that she's trying to reach out, but I'm not great at reading people. I'm also not sure how to proceed, other than do what I've been doing and hopefully have a conversation primed and ready for when the opportunity strikes. I don't really think we're at the "hey, let's go hang out" stage yet, and frankly a group outing with work friends isn't likely either, since they're all a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud It's like pulling teeth to get any of them to go do much of anything. Trust me, I've tried.
                    If what you say is correct, she is in fact interested in you, then you need to just man up and directly ask her if she'd like to do something with you after work. If she says no, that is that and you just need to move on.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                      So I just made a loaf of banana bread (I really did).

                      (T/F): XYZ can parlay this into major success with the ladies.
                      I wish I am able to live long enough to do all the things I was attributed to.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                        Originally posted by XYZ View Post
                        So I just made a loaf of banana bread (I really did).

                        (T/F): XYZ can parlay this into major success with the ladies.
                        Depends on how big the banana is.


                        You're welcome for that one everyone, I'll be here all week.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                          Originally posted by XYZ View Post
                          So I just made a loaf of banana bread (I really did).

                          (T/F): XYZ can parlay this into major success with the ladies.


                          Classic.
                          Never really developed a taste for tequila. Kind of hard to understand how you make a drink out of something that sharp, inhospitable. Now, bourbon is easy to understand.
                          Tastes like a warm summer day. -Raylan Givens

                          Comment


                          • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                            Originally posted by collegehcky2 View Post
                            Depends on how big the banana is.
                            You're welcome for that one everyone, I'll be here all week.
                            Given your join date, I'm guessing you missed the inside joke...

                            Originally posted by XYZ View Post
                            So I just made a loaf of banana bread (I really did).

                            (T/F): XYZ can parlay this into major success with the ladies.
                            True, unless you are happily single by choice.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                              Damm you guys. Now I'm craving banana bread.
                              Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

                              RIP - Kirby

                              Comment


                              • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                                Originally posted by unofan View Post
                                True, unless you are happily single by choice.
                                What if I'm not, but say I am...and get a t-shirt that says so to prove it!?
                                I wish I am able to live long enough to do all the things I was attributed to.

                                Comment

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