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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

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  • Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post
    Similar to the "look at me and my awesomeness" facade of social media, a lot of people only use dating apps for amusement or validation that others find them attractive. They have no intention of actually meeting you or anyone else outside the app. For obvious reasons such apps tend to predominantly attract introverts and damaged people, which exacerbates the ghosting.
    I guess I can see that. But it's quite ironic since roughly every other woman's profile has some variation on "I'm not here to play games" in it. I'd put money that it was present on some of the accounts that ghosted me for today's serving of irony.

    Navigating this part of the social world has been quite an eye opening one when it comes to how we socialize and carry ourselves in public. So many walking contradictions out there. It's another case where stereotypes are proven to be justified on both sides of the dating coin.

    I do sort of see the point on your last statement however. It sounds cruel to say this, but yea, apps definitely connect you to people that you likely would avoid in a live action situation due to their anti-social behaviors.

    Originally posted by Deutsche Gopher Fan View Post
    It’s hard because there are some people who have found their partner through an app. But there are also ones like my friend who was ghosted by a guy from an app after 8 months of dating.

    personally I avoid them as I’m too old to be of use to anyone- women over 35 and gasp over 40 don’t exist. So even as a childless woman who makes well into six figures, I’m not desirable because I can’t pump kids out and I’m not ready to date 60 year olds
    I don't think it's fair to hold the person your friend had to deal with against the apps. Obviously the person that just up and ghosted after spending 8 months with someone goes above and beyond. That's not normal or healthy in any form.

    You're statements also seem to reinforce the idea that things are bleak for the 35-45 demo, ha ha ha. (For the record, I'm 39 and looking at exact that, lol)

    Again, it comes down to the irony of women (as a whole, not you in particular) claiming that there are no more "Nice Guys" out there while staring at several right under their noses and choosing other options. Not that this is a new dating trope. It's been highlighted on sit-coms for their entire existence. It's just funny seeing it in action in real time.
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    • Originally posted by RaceBoarder View Post

      I guess I can see that. But it's quite ironic since roughly every other woman's profile has some variation on "I'm not here to play games" in it. I'd put money that it was present on some of the accounts that ghosted me for today's serving of irony.

      Navigating this part of the social world has been quite an eye opening one when it comes to how we socialize and carry ourselves in public. So many walking contradictions out there. It's another case where stereotypes are proven to be justified on both sides of the dating coin.

      I do sort of see the point on your last statement however. It sounds cruel to say this, but yea, apps definitely connect you to people that you likely would avoid in a live action situation due to their anti-social behaviors.



      I don't think it's fair to hold the person your friend had to deal with against the apps. Obviously the person that just up and ghosted after spending 8 months with someone goes above and beyond. That's not normal or healthy in any form.

      You're statements also seem to reinforce the idea that things are bleak for the 35-45 demo, ha ha ha. (For the record, I'm 39 and looking at exact that, lol)

      Again, it comes down to the irony of women (as a whole, not you in particular) claiming that there are no more "Nice Guys" out there while staring at several right under their noses and choosing other options. Not that this is a new dating trope. It's been highlighted on sit-coms for their entire existence. It's just funny seeing it in action in real time.
      I mean we could go back and forth all day on this. Women don’t want nice guys! Well men don’t seem to want anyone over the age of 25 or who isn’t model like. Both sides have stereotypes than can be true

      I don’t hold my friends experience as the reason why I avoid them. I avoid them because the last time I tried them - as a 35 year old woman- men around my age rejected me and many flat out said it was due to my age and they wanted someone ten years younger.

      wasn’t exactly a nice experience, and for every complaint you have about women, l be able to share one for your side too. I don’t think one sex has it worse

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      • Different social conventions can make it worse for one gender, though, and I think it is inarguable that over almost the entire history of almost every existing social order, women have had it MUCH worse. Women have had to accommodate the idiocies of men far more than the converse.

        This is not to argue men are more idiotic than women -- all God's children are equally, spectacularly asinine. But men have had far more leeway to indulge their stupidity.

        I can't speak to what social media is doing to dating, but I think ironically access to more potential partners limits people's experiences, not broadens them. If you crash on a desert island, and there are five potential partners for you, welp, you try them all eventually, regardless of your prior prejudices. So you sleep with the fat ugly girl and maybe discover she's really nice, or really smart, or really fun during sex, and you like that, and you wind up with her happily ever after.

        Meanwhile, your twin brother, who missed the flight, is still back on Tinder cutting a swath through a million identical blonde boobs on sticks, and though he has 20,000 times your number of potential partners they are all tightly grouped around the mean of his initial filtering. He never gets outside his comfort zone, which is most likely socially-dictated and not even "his" anyway. So his experiences are less rich and he is less likely to discover what he, personally, really likes.

        This may be analogous with ideas, art, music, politics. The Deluge of availability simply drowns you in oceans of sameness. You never reach the end of your rut and are forced to try something new, because your rut is infinite.

        Last edited by Kepler; 12-30-2022, 01:09 PM.
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        • Oh women have had it much worse but if I say that then tons of crying will ensue here.

          looks fade so I wish both sexes could focus on other factors

          I do agree with Kepler’s point. I think the apps just present limitless choice and people don’t get outside their comfort zone.

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          • Originally posted by Deutsche Gopher Fan View Post
            looks fade so I wish both sexes could focus on other factors
            Just as aging destroys looks it also destroys lookism.

            YDFCs will always be what they are. 10 million years of evolution is going to drown out any given social hemlines. But as people age they also start caring about other things. I mean, conservative men don't because they are frozen into a perpetual jock childishness, but everybody else evolves.

            The dating lesson when you are 15-35 is don't be ugly.

            The dating lesson when you are 35-55 is don't be an as-shole.

            Above 55 I guess it's don't be poor.
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            • I always thought first dates were a great opportunity to acquire a new story to tell close friends or family members. I went on a lot of dates, set up for me by others, when I was pretty sure the other person wasn't someone that I'd be interested in, but I always went because of the chance that I'd get a great story out of it. I can't think of a single date that I declined, or one where I later regretted going, including the one where about two hours in I was convinced that I was alone with a serial killer, that I'd be dead within the hour, and people would be searching for my body parts for years to come.
              That community is already in the process of dissolution where each man begins to eye his neighbor as a possible enemy, where non-conformity with the accepted creed, political as well as religious, is a mark of disaffection; where denunciation, without specification or backing, takes the place of evidence; where orthodoxy chokes freedom of dissent; where faith in the eventual supremacy of reason has become so timid that we dare not enter our convictions in the open lists, to win or lose.

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              • Ladies, bone more short men

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                • Originally posted by Deutsche Gopher Fan View Post

                  I mean we could go back and forth all day on this. Women don’t want nice guys! Well men don’t seem to want anyone over the age of 25 or who isn’t model like. Both sides have stereotypes than can be true

                  I don’t hold my friends experience as the reason why I avoid them. I avoid them because the last time I tried them - as a 35 year old woman- men around my age rejected me and many flat out said it was due to my age and they wanted someone ten years younger.

                  wasn’t exactly a nice experience, and for every complaint you have about women, l be able to share one for your side too. I don’t think one sex has it worse
                  As a straight man that doesn’t add up to me. I have no doubt they said it to you but it probably was something else. Looks are much, much more important than anything else with personality coming in second. It’s hard for me to believe age was truly that much of a deal breaker.

                  It you do give it another shot just try to have fun with it and be open to significantly younger guys. You never know who might be out there you click with. I think some people define success in terms of meeting a life partner versus just meeting people they have fun with which holds them back to.
                  Originally posted by BobbyBrady
                  Crosby probably wouldn't even be on BC's top two lines next year

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                  • Not even gonna bother with this piece of ****

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                    • [9 SEPTEMBER 2012 T.V. FLASH ON ALL DIAL-A-PROGRAM SERVICES]
                      This is an announcement from Genetic Control:
                      "It is my sad duty to inform you of a four foot restriction on
                      Humanoid height."

                      [EXTRACT FROM CONVERSATION OF JOE ORDINARY IN LOCAL PUBORAMA]
                      "I hear the directors of Genetic Control have been buying all the
                      Properties that have recently been sold, taking risks oh so bold
                      It's said now that people will be shorter in height
                      They can fit twice as many in the same building site
                      (they say it's alright)
                      Beginning with the tenants of the town of Harlow
                      In the interest of humanity, they've been told they must go
                      Told they must go-go-go-go."
                      Cornell University
                      National Champion 1967, 1970
                      ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                      Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                      • Originally posted by Deutsche Gopher Fan View Post
                        Has the NYT never heard of Napoleon complex?

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                        • Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post

                          Has the NYT never heard of Napoleon complex?
                          That's only because of the bigotry!

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                          ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                          Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                          • I don't know how some girls are 100% straight. Have you seen girls?
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                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                            • My wife has asked me to not answer that question.
                              "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

                              "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

                              "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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                              • Building a relationship is hard.
                                Cornell University
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                                ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                                Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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