Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

    Game Recap – Semifinal #2 of the Inaugural Northern Winter Solstice (NoWinS) from Cloudcroft, NM

    St. Lawrence Saints vs New Hampshire Wildcats

    Upon arrival at the James Sewell Ice Rink in Zenith Park, UNH coach Mike Souza was informed by exiting Huntsville players about the house rules for the tournament. Souza immediately changed his roster to list individual forwards as centers and wings, with the intent to still use them up front. The ensuing argument with tournament officials was re-enacted by the CLOC and announced as the new original show for the next month in the town theater. UNH was assessed a bench minor to start the game.

    First period
    SLU peppered the UNH goal with their opening power play and scored three times in the opening 4 minutes. At that point, the UNH bench realized that using the wrong handed stick still meant playing with the blade on the ice, rather than the knob. The Wildcats stabilized, but still trailed 3-0.

    Second period
    The Wildcats pulled out their secret weapon after the ice scrape – each player skated with a Dick Umile whistle in his mouth and blew it whenever the Saints touched the puck. SLU players were so annoyed they stopped touching the puck, allowing UNH to score twice and trail by a goal after 2.

    Third period
    UNH tied the game soon after the last period began. But the effects of the smoke, the altitude, and the whistles left the Wildcats winded as the clock wound down. With no fans attending, the lone worker in the adjoining snack bar decided to eat all the prepped food he could instead. He managed to choke down all but one burnt burger pattie, which he discarded onto the ice surface. St. Lawrence played it as a puck and scored, and after a lengthy re-enactment the officials let the goal stand, giving a 4-3 victory to the Saints and advancing UNH to the title game.

    Miss Thundercat will have the recap of the championship game later.
    Last edited by John J. MacInnes; 12-21-2018, 02:34 PM.

    Comment


    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

      Originally posted by John J. MacInnes View Post
      Presenting the first Northern Winter Solstice ("NoWinS") Bottom Feeder Classic, to be played starting at 1:38am MST on December 21 with the Alabama-Huntsville vs Omaha semifinal. They will be followed by St. Lawrence vs New Hampshire.

      The teams are flying to El Paso, TX where they will meet their airport shuttle for the 109 mile transport to Alamagordo, NM. From there, local residents with pickup trucks will ferry them the final 21 miles to Cloudcroft. The Chargers and Mavericks will be on the first shuttle, which will immediately return to El Paso to then bring the Saints and Wildcats to arrive three hours later.
      I think they should have a free for all drive, like from the movie, "Used Cars"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crZy2FMAD5w
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX


      The reason for the talent in the west? Because MN didn't rely on Canada.

      Originally posted by MN Pond Hockey
      Menards could have sold a lot of rope

      this morning in Grand Forks if North Dakota had trees.

      Comment


      • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

        Your game recap is coming later, but Allsup's is providing more food. I got them to provide rancid breakfast sandwiches for about $20.

        Before the final later, John J. MacInnes and I are going to a nearby town for actual food and beer. What, you thought we were going to eat what the gas station provides?
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
        Patreon for exclusive writing content
        Adventures With Amber Marie

        Comment


        • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
          Your game recap is coming later, but Allsup's is providing more food. I got them to provide rancid breakfast sandwiches for about $20.

          Before the final later, John J. MacInnes and I are going to a nearby town for actual food and beer. What, you thought we were going to eat what the gas station provides?
          Nearby town? And that was the last we heard from MacInnes and thundercat.

          Comment


          • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

            Northern Winter Solstice ("NoWinS") tournament Championship Recap: Omaha vs. New Hampshire

            First Period
            Omaha and New Hampshire started scrapping right off the opening puck drop. Ryan Galt of Omaha and Anthony Wyse of New Hampshire, leaders of their teams in penalty minutes, tangled up right away. Both coaches put their goons out for the start, and these two started throwing haymakers. After a lengthy brawl, Galt dropped Wyse with a hard right. Refs, which we pulled from local watering holes, gave both 5 and a game. With about 7:30 left in the period, Ara Nazarian of New Hampshire managed to bank a shot off the rear glass, off Evan Weninger's back, and in. CLOC gave it a good review, and the goal counted. With 1 minute to play in the first, Mason Morelli of Omaha tied it up with a shot that went in off Mike Robinson's (UNH) shoulder pads. The teams would get into it again, and the period ended tied at 1.

            First Intermission
            Mike Souza went in the dining area to get a breakfast sandwich and some coffee. He didn't like the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, but he managed to eat the entire thing. Evan Weninger was seen puking up his breakfast sandwich, and was screaming for some Gatorade. All we have to drink is some lukewarm coffee.

            Second Period
            With ice conditions worsening, players struggled to move. Smoke made for a hazy arena, and several players asked to remove their skates and ask to play in their sneakers. Miss Thundercat was there to hear their complaints, and as she sipped from her travel mug of Bourbon and chocolate chili liqueur, she laughed at the players' requests and said they needed to play on. Sluggish conditions persisted, and late in the second, with about 2 minutes remaining, Liam Blackburn went in on Weninger, and managed to poke it through a hole in the side of the net. The CLOC review showed it was a no goal, and the period ended tied at 1.

            Second Intermission
            Mike Gabinet of Omaha had a lengthy discussion with Souza about all of this being laughable, and a joke, and "this is the last time they do this." Tournament officials (JJM and Miss Thundercat) were nearby when they heard this, and told the two teams to get out of the basement of their respective conferences. CLOC observed this, and re-enacted the conversation. Miss Thundercat was done with her booze, and pulled out some New Holland Dragon's Milk to share with her fellow official.

            Third Period
            With teams feeling worse from the altitude and the smoke, and both coaches hanging their head in shame, the teams played on. Zach Jordan of Omaha dumped the puck in, and there was Angus Crookshank of UNH standing in front of Mike Robinson. The puck tipped off Crookshank's stick, and in. Crookshank knew it right away, and broke his stick right on the "ice." CLOC re-enacted the scene two or three times, making Souza yell to get CLOC off the ice. We let them play on. Omaha led 2-1 with 13 minutes to play. Crookshank was looking for redemption after the own goal, and after pulling a few Sean Avery-style tactics in front of Weninger, he tied it up with an assist from Blackburn with 5 minutes remaining. After the game, Crookshank told us that he regretted nothing. Tied at 2 with 1:30 remaining, Weninger of Omaha sent the puck down the ice. But Souza dropped a sausage patty from a breakfast sandwich on the ice, leading to some confusion. Marcus Vela took the patty, ran it down toward Weninger, and got it in the back of the net. At the same time, on the other side of the ice, Tristan Keck of Omaha put the actual puck past Robinson. The refs relied on CLOC, and were able to tell the difference between vulcanized rubber and a burned sausage patty. Keck's goal counted first. UNH would get a few more shots on Weninger, but the game ended 3-2 Omaha.

            Post-game
            Mike Souza was seen taking the NoWinS Trophy, really just a plastic trash can with crossed sticks and a puck on top, and burning it.

            This was fun.
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
            Patreon for exclusive writing content
            Adventures With Amber Marie

            Comment


            • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

              With the Northern Winter Solstice (NoWinS) tournament behind us, and a successful one at that, I am looking forward to the second half of the season.

              Will RPI and SLU go back to sucking full time? They were front-runners for the Futile Four at the start of the season.

              How many people will forget that the committee doesn't care what they think?

              How many people will I have to send out for coffee and a breakfast sandwich because they thought I cared what they think?

              How much coffee will I need to buy Fade, GFM, and John J. MacInnes for helping this year?
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

              Comment


              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                All the coffee!

                Comment


                • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                  Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post
                  All the coffee!
                  Sweet! There might be a breakfast sandwich in there too for you.
                  Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                  "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                  Patreon for exclusive writing content
                  Adventures With Amber Marie

                  Comment


                  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                    Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post

                    How much coffee will I need to buy John J. MacInnes for helping this year?
                    Good news for you, I'm not a coffee drinker. More for Fade and GFM.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                      What an exciting tournament to kick off (or should it be face oof) the 2nd half of the season. Those traditional tourneys that start this weekend will undoubtedly be jealous of the Solstice experience in scenic, but smoky/hazy Cloudcorift,
                      And a "burning" question was answered. A burnt hamburger patty is more likely to be mistaken for a hockey puck than a burnt breakfast sausage patty.

                      Without even witnessing the reenactments by the CLOC, Bringing theater to the rink is so much more entertaining than watching 2 striped shirts staring at a tiny monitor for indefinite periods of time.

                      Miss Thundercat I commend you for not succumbing to alcohol induced altitude sickness which is very common among flatlanders.
                      GO DU !!!

                      Comment


                      • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                        Big question is whether UNH will be recovered in time to play Bentley on the 30th.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                          Originally posted by Snively65 View Post
                          Big question is whether UNH will be recovered in time to play Bentley on the 30th.
                          Probably not. That's what Souza gets for burning the NoWinS trophy.
                          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                          Patreon for exclusive writing content
                          Adventures With Amber Marie

                          Comment


                          • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                            The Commish got a bunch of disappointing presents for Christmas. Would have helped if the person who gave the gifts would have asked me what I needed.

                            How about I send Matt Thomas of UAA a cross-stitched Christmas stocking that doesn't have his name on it?
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

                            Comment


                            • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                              A little carrier pigeon told me that Sparty dropped 10 spots in That Other Tournament's ratings system with the OT loss to Lake State yesterday.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

                                Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post
                                A little carrier pigeon told me that Sparty dropped 10 spots in That Other Tournament's ratings system with the OT loss to Lake State yesterday.
                                which means they moved up in ours. Ah, Sparty, you'll always have a home in the BFB.
                                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                                Adventures With Amber Marie

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X