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  • Hockey Parenting Made Simple

    Ran across this article at the local rink; has some humorous suggestions. Probably not exactly for viewers of this forum; we never did any of the things the author mentions....

    By Dan Bauer

    It is official, all youth athletics are nuts. Hockey may have earned the right of getting there first, but every other sport has now fallen in place. They are all too organized, travel too much, too expensive and too time consuming. We put too much emphasis on keeping score and winning and too little emphasis on having fun.

    As another youth hockey season descends upon us, I have some simple advice for parents to help make your hockey experience more enjoyable.

    Skip tryouts. Leave the rink; go to a movie; have dinner with your spouse; just stay away. If your child makes the A team, be happy and humble. If your child makes the B team, be happy and calm. Next to skill, the most important quality of a good athlete is confidence. Benefit: stress reduction.

    Every rink has a water fountain. Save time and money on the Gatorade, because I'm not certain that ten year olds even have electrolytes. And if they do, they have a lot of them. We only start losing things when we get older. Savings: 80 plus games & practices @ $2.00 = $160.00.

    They can carry their own bag, and if they can't, it's too big. You don't carry your kid's backpack to school for them; you shouldn't have to carry their hockey bag either. Donate your wheelie bag to a stewardess and get one that has to be carried. Benefit: Increased leg strength.

    Kids can dress and undress themselves - go get a cup of coffee and relax. Once they have been through it a couple times they can figure it out. And if they can't, that is why they have teammates. Eventually they will get it on or off. Be patient. Benefit:team unity. (PS: coffee is cheaper than gatorade.)

    Teach them to tie their own skates as soon as possible - good skaters have loose skates, so let them get used to it early. As long as you keep tying them, they are going to let you. Haven't we learned this "helpless" lesson before? Benefit: Ankle strenth.

    New equipment is for Christmas, maybe a birthday - but should not be a birthright of every new season. Buy used equipment - a 58 pound squirt doesn't need the support of a $300 pair of skates.

    A $300 pair of skates could be worn by a 58 pound squirt for ten years and still not be worn out - it's basic physics. Today's skates are as rigid as Marine Corp training. Savings: $200+.

    On the subject of skates; as soon as they are old enough to drive, they are old enough to get their own skates sharpened. If they tell you they don't have time, compare your schedule to theirs; then hand the skates back to them. Benefit: Time for you and responsibility for them.

    Buy wooden sticks. Force dealers to put them back on the stick rack; it is supply and demand economics. A nine year old doesn't need a composite stick unless he is six feet tall and 200 pounds, or you can buy a 10 flex. A wooden stick will do fine. Save me the sales pitch on response and feel. Until they can feel the difference between clean and dirty hair, save your money. And like tying skates, they can learn to tape their stick much sooner than they would like you to believe. Savings:$200=. Benefit: wrist strength and eye-hand coordination.

    Kids believe that the concession stand is an essential part of hockey - like their skates. If they go out and skate well, have fun and come off with a smile on their face - they don't need a reward, except maybe a pat on the back. Walk past the concession stand a few times - I know we need to support the rink, but it shouldn't be the place where you eat most of your meals.

    They also don't need breakfast at Perkins or lunch at McDonalds after every game or practice. Let them learn that the reward is hockey. It is a priviledge to be able to play and if they don't make their bed and feed the dog, you will take it away. Benefit: Discipline, help around the house, more money for coffee.

    Herb Brooks said it best, "The name on the front of the jersey is a heck of a lot more important than the name on the back." This is a team sport; sooner the kids learn that the better. Names on the back of jerseys are for when you get to the NHL. You should be able to figure out which player is yours without that visual aid. If you can't, remember that is why we put numbers on the jerseys- those numbers aren't a ranking system - they are for identification. Nobody wears two nametags at work, right? Benefit: Team unity and humility.

    Don't watch every practice - let them tell you about a few - they'll enjoy it. Send them the message that you have more important things to do than watch the practice. This is not neglect, but common sense. If parents spent as much time helping kids with homework as they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A's. This is their experience - not yours. Turn them loose. Benefit:time.

    Let your kids have fun. If their best friend calls on a friday night and wants them to (a) go to a movie (b) go to outdoor rink or (c) go sledding ; don't say no because they have a game tomorrow. They are kids. If you haven't noticed, they don't get tired. Do you ever remember being too tired as a kid? Let them go swimming at the motel or play football in the snow. AJ Hawk may need to sleep in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, but your kid doesn't. Benefit: Balance and a happier child.

    Don't try to coach - your team already has one. Pat them on the back after a tough loss and thank them for their time and effort. Buy them a cup of coffee and talk about anything but hockey. Benefit: respect.

    Last, but not least, at an athletic contest you can be a player, a coach, a fan, or an official - but you can only be one. For those parents who are confused, you are a fan. Cheer when your team does something well. Drink coffee the rest of the time; it tastes better than your foot. Benefit: more friends, fewer enemies.

    Enjoy the season!

  • #2
    Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

    Originally posted by xwildfan View Post
    Ran across this article at the local rink; has some humorous suggestions. Probably not exactly for viewers of this forum; we never did any of the things the author mentions....

    By Dan Bauer

    It is official, all youth athletics are nuts. Hockey may have earned the right of getting there first, but every other sport has now fallen in place. They are all too organized, travel too much, too expensive and too time consuming. We put too much emphasis on keeping score and winning and too little emphasis on having fun.

    As another youth hockey season descends upon us, I have some simple advice for parents to help make your hockey experience more enjoyable.

    Skip tryouts. Leave the rink; go to a movie; have dinner with your spouse; just stay away. If your child makes the A team, be happy and humble. If your child makes the B team, be happy and calm. Next to skill, the most important quality of a good athlete is confidence. Benefit: stress reduction.

    Every rink has a water fountain. Save time and money on the Gatorade, because I'm not certain that ten year olds even have electrolytes. And if they do, they have a lot of them. We only start losing things when we get older. Savings: 80 plus games & practices @ $2.00 = $160.00.

    They can carry their own bag, and if they can't, it's too big. You don't carry your kid's backpack to school for them; you shouldn't have to carry their hockey bag either. Donate your wheelie bag to a stewardess and get one that has to be carried. Benefit: Increased leg strength.

    Kids can dress and undress themselves - go get a cup of coffee and relax. Once they have been through it a couple times they can figure it out. And if they can't, that is why they have teammates. Eventually they will get it on or off. Be patient. Benefit:team unity. (PS: coffee is cheaper than gatorade.)

    Teach them to tie their own skates as soon as possible - good skaters have loose skates, so let them get used to it early. As long as you keep tying them, they are going to let you. Haven't we learned this "helpless" lesson before? Benefit: Ankle strenth.

    New equipment is for Christmas, maybe a birthday - but should not be a birthright of every new season. Buy used equipment - a 58 pound squirt doesn't need the support of a $300 pair of skates.

    A $300 pair of skates could be worn by a 58 pound squirt for ten years and still not be worn out - it's basic physics. Today's skates are as rigid as Marine Corp training. Savings: $200+.

    On the subject of skates; as soon as they are old enough to drive, they are old enough to get their own skates sharpened. If they tell you they don't have time, compare your schedule to theirs; then hand the skates back to them. Benefit: Time for you and responsibility for them.

    Buy wooden sticks. Force dealers to put them back on the stick rack; it is supply and demand economics. A nine year old doesn't need a composite stick unless he is six feet tall and 200 pounds, or you can buy a 10 flex. A wooden stick will do fine. Save me the sales pitch on response and feel. Until they can feel the difference between clean and dirty hair, save your money. And like tying skates, they can learn to tape their stick much sooner than they would like you to believe. Savings:$200=. Benefit: wrist strength and eye-hand coordination.

    Kids believe that the concession stand is an essential part of hockey - like their skates. If they go out and skate well, have fun and come off with a smile on their face - they don't need a reward, except maybe a pat on the back. Walk past the concession stand a few times - I know we need to support the rink, but it shouldn't be the place where you eat most of your meals.

    They also don't need breakfast at Perkins or lunch at McDonalds after every game or practice. Let them learn that the reward is hockey. It is a priviledge to be able to play and if they don't make their bed and feed the dog, you will take it away. Benefit: Discipline, help around the house, more money for coffee.

    Herb Brooks said it best, "The name on the front of the jersey is a heck of a lot more important than the name on the back." This is a team sport; sooner the kids learn that the better. Names on the back of jerseys are for when you get to the NHL. You should be able to figure out which player is yours without that visual aid. If you can't, remember that is why we put numbers on the jerseys- those numbers aren't a ranking system - they are for identification. Nobody wears two nametags at work, right? Benefit: Team unity and humility.

    Don't watch every practice - let them tell you about a few - they'll enjoy it. Send them the message that you have more important things to do than watch the practice. This is not neglect, but common sense. If parents spent as much time helping kids with homework as they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A's. This is their experience - not yours. Turn them loose. Benefit:time.

    Let your kids have fun. If their best friend calls on a friday night and wants them to (a) go to a movie (b) go to outdoor rink or (c) go sledding ; don't say no because they have a game tomorrow. They are kids. If you haven't noticed, they don't get tired. Do you ever remember being too tired as a kid? Let them go swimming at the motel or play football in the snow. AJ Hawk may need to sleep in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, but your kid doesn't. Benefit: Balance and a happier child.

    Don't try to coach - your team already has one. Pat them on the back after a tough loss and thank them for their time and effort. Buy them a cup of coffee and talk about anything but hockey. Benefit: respect.

    Last, but not least, at an athletic contest you can be a player, a coach, a fan, or an official - but you can only be one. For those parents who are confused, you are a fan. Cheer when your team does something well. Drink coffee the rest of the time; it tastes better than your foot. Benefit: more friends, fewer enemies.

    Enjoy the season!
    much better read than the one on espn. To tag onto this article, parents, coaches and kids go watch the magic helmet on youtube by a canadien hockey kid, he gets it.
    Last edited by kylehockey; 12-23-2009, 07:13 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

      Best line:

      "If parents spent as much time helping kids with homework as they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A's."
      Minnesota Golden Gopher Hockey

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

        Originally posted by D2D View Post
        Best line:

        "If parents spent as much time helping kids with homework as they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A's."
        Yup, then you would end up with a bunch of book smart, 4th liners...

        The parents know man ....the parents know.
        Last edited by 5 4 Fighting; 12-23-2009, 09:10 PM. Reason: typo

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

          Originally posted by D2D View Post
          Best line:

          "If parents spent as much time helping kids with homework as they do watching practice, our kids would all be getting straight A's."
          IMHO you should use the same approach with homework as with the some of the other suggestions in the article......
          ......Make sure the kids spend time doing their home work but dont help them do their homework. Give them pointers when they ask, but they have to figure it out for themselves. Otherwise they may not get it. Makes them much better students in the long run.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

            Originally posted by kylehockey View Post
            much better read than the one on espn. To tag onto this article, parents, coaches and kids go watch the magic helmet on youtube by a canadien hockey kid, he gets it.
            The link for your enjoyment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWjBvcfhRX0

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

              Originally posted by OnMAA View Post
              IMHO you should use the same approach with homework as with the some of the other suggestions in the article......
              ......Make sure the kids spend time doing their home work but dont help them do their homework. Give them pointers when they ask, but they have to figure it out for themselves. Otherwise they may not get it. Makes them much better students in the long run.
              I think this depends on the kid, because they are all different. I agree that under no circumstances should a parent do their child's homework for her, but for many the parents do need to take an active interest and make sure they are achieving to the best of their ability. For some kids, there will be a need to go beyond mere monitoring - they will need more personal involvement. With naturally gifted or otherwise driven high academic achievers, simple praise and encouragement is all that's required.
              Minnesota Golden Gopher Hockey

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                Originally posted by xwildfan View Post

                Last, but not least, at an athletic contest you can be a player, a coach, a fan, or an official - but you can only be one. For those parents who are confused, you are a fan. Cheer when your team does something well. Drink coffee the rest of the time; it tastes better than your foot. Benefit: more friends, fewer enemies.

                Enjoy the season!
                I'm going to have laminated wallet cards printed with this last paragraph and pass them out at the rink. Thank you for posting this article.

                Players Play.
                Coaches Coach
                Parents Cheer.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                  Originally posted by 5 4 Fighting View Post
                  Yup, then you would end up with a bunch of book smart, 4th liners...

                  The parents know man ....the parents know.
                  I agree there 5-4. Parents who know, know. Parents who think they know, don't. You can see it a mile away. Ya gotta see to fix. Everything within reason of course. Use common sense! Do YOUR homework people!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                    Originally posted by CanHockGuy View Post
                    I agree there 5-4. Parents who know, know. Parents who think they know, don't. You can see it a mile away. Ya gotta see to fix. Everything within reason of course. Use common sense! Do YOUR homework people!
                    Agree...Check your rep.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                      Originally posted by futurestar View Post
                      I'm going to have laminated wallet cards printed with this last paragraph and pass them out at the rink. Thank you for posting this article.

                      Players Play.
                      Coaches Coach
                      Parents Cheer.
                      I always thought it was

                      Coaches Coach
                      Players Play
                      Parents Pay

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                        Originally posted by rinkrat890890 View Post
                        I always thought it was

                        Coaches Coach
                        Players Play
                        Parents Pay
                        Not bad rr. But you wouldn't invest in a stock with no research would you?
                        Last edited by CanHockGuy; 12-24-2009, 07:30 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                          I had to chuckle at the article, I don't know of too many mothers who watch every practice. Most of us utilize the time running errands, grocery shopping, if you live close to the rink: running home and getting dinner ready, or even Christmas shopping. Last night when my three hockey players were here (all play for fun now), my secret of how Christma shopping got done came out...I did it during practice. All these years they thought the brown paper bags had groceries in them...underneath the bread were gifts. I especially "scored" when they had back to back practices!

                          My daughter did not have $300+ skates until she was heading off to college and needed really good skates. One of my boys had to have custom skates due to, not only his skate size (15) but his height and weight (6'6", 260). The sidewalls of skates would break down every 2-3 months. But during their days of young youth hockey, hand me down skates were common place in our house.

                          The most important thing a parent can do after a game, win or lose, is to ask one question..."did you have fun?" More often than not, the answer is "yes, can I have a buck for drink machine?".
                          "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                            Originally posted by THE Icemom View Post
                            The most important thing a parent can do after a game, win or lose, is to ask one question..."did you have fun?" More often than not, the answer is "yes, can I have a buck for drink machine?".
                            That was then. Now it is $2.00

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Hockey Parenting Made Simple

                              We are just far enough away from everything that doing errands or going home is a no go. I bring a good book.

                              My kid has never had a drink from a drink machine. He is responsible for remembering his post game/practice drink. If he doesn't remember there is a drinking fountain. Most of the time he has a box of chocolate milk because that is what Dad (who is an athletic trainer) says is good to replenish things.

                              Thankfully we still have to afford the youth skates, next ones will be bad.

                              I have learned to stay at the end of the rink away from everyone because some parents are just idjits. Today we were at a tournament and before the game the other teams parents were ranting at the kids (13 yr olds) to rev them up. :shakes head: At one point the someone on the other team blatantly 2 hand slashed a kid on our team and they had 2 parents kicked out for screaming about it. The team on the bench were slapping their sticks on the boards and all their parents were cheering for the folks kicked out. Plenty sick. Could have called unsportsmanlike but the kid already had a major. My spot at the end by the zamboni might have been dam cold but much more sane. Parents should get a grip. What type of person cheers for something that could seriously harm a kid and for bad behaviour?

                              Comment

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