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One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare - USA

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  • One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare - USA

    Earlier this month, two-time Olympic ice hockey player Caitlin Cahow wrote about the darkness following her concussions, and then thanked all those who helped her return to the sunshine.

    "One year ago today: I couldn't read, remember, think clearly, go outside without dark glasses, or stand for 5 minutes without debilitating headaches, dizziness and crippling fatigue. The joy had been stripped from my life. No future was imaginable. ... Today: two semesters shy of graduating law school, after a full day of work at my law firm, I came home to run a personal best 13 mile time into the sunset along the Charles River, symptom free and irrepressibly happy. Do you believe in miracles? Because I am one," she posted it to her Facebook account.

    Cahow, 28, won't be with the U.S. team when it gathers today to begin preparations for the Sochi Olympics — she retired earlier this year — but she hopes her story helps others who have suffered traumatic brain injuries.

    USA MEN: No miracle needed for medal

    In terms of concussions, women's ice hockey is the most dangerous NCAA sport, according to a study using NCAA data from 1988-2004. In an Ivy League review of concussions in women's hockey released in May, the report cited that statistic among various other sobering numbers.

    Theories abound on the reasons why – from neck strength to officiating to the rules of the women's game. Body checking is not allowed, but it's still very physical. "Sometimes you're more likely to get a concussion in the women's game because we don't grow up hitting," Cahow said. "You're not trained to take hits."

    Cahow was playing for her pro team on Jan. 28, 2012, the Boston Blades, fighting for a puck along the wall when the hit came. Diagnosed with a concussion, she was cleared to play a month later, only to be injured again when blindsided by a crushing hit. In the days that followed, she couldn't get out of bed. Each day was worse.

    Headaches, nightmares

    She had graduated from Harvard and was in law school at Boston College, and now she couldn't formulate sentences. For a stretch of two weeks, she didn't get out of bed, doesn't remember even eating. Soon she lost 25 pounds. The headaches persisted from the moment she woke up to the moment she tried to sleep and haunted her in nightmares in between.

    "It was like having a zombie for a friend," said Blades and Harvard teammate Kate Buesser, who is with the national team this week.

    The heavy haze of depression, that oft-unspoken side of brain injuries, took over. Cahow said she understands now when she hears about a former NFL or NHL player who takes his life after struggling with a brain injury.

    During a particularly dark stretch in the spring of 2012, she thought about the pain meds that filled her medicine cabinet, the accumulated prescriptions from a life on the ice. She never liked taking any medications, not even Advil, but that was before she became someone else.

    "I remember a day thinking, 'I have like five bottles of that stuff in my bathroom that could be an easy fix.' I thought about it and I just thought about my mom," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm lucky. I thought of her and thought of my most cherished people and I got myself up and went to the bathroom and threw everything away. I remember walking outside and throwing it in the dumpster, thinking I can't even have that near me."

    Moving from Boston to her parent's house on Vinalhaven Island off the coast of Maine helped Cahow find her way back. She turned down an internship at a prestigious law firm, took the year off from law school, worked on a lobster boat and finally went to see Ted Carrick, a chiropractic neurologist in Georgia, who is best known for helping Sidney Crosby return to the ice. Carrick's practice seeks to improve brain function through eye exercises, practical therapy with tests on the ice in Cahow's case, and nutrition. By October of 2012, Cahow was also back in pads, playing for the Blades.

    "I never thought I would play again. Walking was overwhelming. I couldn't imagine being on skates," she said.

    Strong return

    In her first game back, Cahow scored about the ugliest goal ever recorded. No matter. Both teams clapped. Skating fast with the wind in her face never felt better. She finished the year as one of the top three defenseman in the Canadian Women's Hockey League and the Blades won the league championship.

    When Cahow was left off the roster for the U.S. team that won the world championships in April, she was crushed. Afterward, she was invited to tryout for the Olympic team, but decided to retire instead, a decision that surprised many teammates.

    "A lot of people don't know what it's like to go through something like that. There's not many people who lost as much as she has in terms of her job and her schooling. They've lost playing time but haven't lost parts of their lives they were working for," Buesser said. "She wanted to leave on her own terms."

    "I felt the most remarkable sense of relief," Cahow said of her decision. "The thing that hurts the hardest has been my bruised ego. When you've been the best at something you want it all the time, it's an addiction. One of the great things that this concussion taught me is that I have a lot of things I enjoy about my life and I found a lot of gratitude in meager things, just a beautiful day."

    At that end of that beautiful day along the banks of the Charles River at sunset, Cahow wanted to thank all those who carried her through those dark days. Her doctors, Carrick and Lynn Carlson, her friends and teammates, the lobster crew who nursed her back to health, and to her mom, Barbara Kinder, "for smiling even when it hurt, and for holding me, when there was nothing else left to do," she wrote.

    "I am stronger for the struggle, and more eager for the days to come. I don't want to waste one second of this second chance I have been given. Thank you to all who held my hand and guided me along the way. I am truly blessed."

  • #2
    Re: One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare -

    I always used to think the ultimate achievement in Caitlin Cahow's career came a few years ago when she inspired the following post:

    "Q. What do you do when, in overtime of the ECAC championship game, with a perfect 26-0-0 season hanging in the balance, your team's apparent game-winning goal gets disallowed?

    "A. Immediately pick up the puck in front of your own goal, stickhandle through their entire team and put the puck in the net."

    Now I see I was wrong. Ms Cahow has had a greater achievement.

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    • #3
      Re: One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare -

      Great story/report. Thanks for posting.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare -

        I can remember the first time I met Caitlin Cahow. It was at the Dartmouth College hockey camp, in the summer of 2000. What an amazing personality she has. She is friendly, warm, outgoing and very very nice. She approached my daughter (not knowing it was the sister of my hockey playing daughter) because the jacket she was wearing had our last name on it. She went out of her way to speak very nice words to us about our daughter who was on an opposing team. She was all of 14 or so years old. I never forgot that day. I was impressed and was lucky enough to be able to follow Caitlin's career from afar. For sure, she's a character kid.

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        • #5
          Re: One year later, Caitlin Cahow's life back to normal following concussion scare -

          I am so happy she is on the mend!! A really really nice young woman.

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